“I don’t know how to rest.” This is what one leader said to me during a coaching session. Does that ring true for you? Most people think rest is something you earn after completing all your work, but the truth is the work is never done—which means rest isn't a reward, it's a rhythm you choose before you need it. That’s why I encourage people to rest first. The Missing Half of the Golden Rule We’ve all heard a version of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The emphasis is usually on the first part—"Do unto others" and "Love your neighbor." But I rarely hear the second part talked about: "As you would have them do unto you" and "as yourself. Here’s what I mean. Like you, I’ve noticed I’m not always kind to myself. If I’m hungry, I’ll keep pushing through until I’m famished. If I need to use the restroom, I’ll often wait until I’m ready to burst. But lately, instead of putting myself last, I've been trying to put myself first. Don’t worry. I’m not using the Golden Rule to advocate for some new form of hyperindividualism or narcissism. We’ve got enough of that. I am, however, encouraging you to stop putting urgent but less important things before your own well-being. Just as on an airplane, you are instructed to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others, I wonder if the same is true for life? After all, if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you possibly be effective for others? You are the greatest asset you can give to the world . Your health, mental/emotional state, and well-being are usually more important than the task you’re doing. I’ve summed this up in the mantra, “Rest First.” What Rest First Really Means (Left off here on Claude) Practically speaking, resting first is an all-encompassing term for being kind to yourself, loving yourself, and putting yourself above things that matter less. This could include any or all of the four ​Rhythms of Rest​ : Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, or Tangible. Relational: Saying "I need space" before resentment builds Emotional: Sharing how you feel before you blow up Spiritual: Starting your day with silence before the chaos begins Tangible: Eating before you're famished, sleeping before you're exhausted Rest first doesn't mean doing less. It means protecting yourself so you can do more of what matters. Rest First is about being kind to yourself and putting yourself above less important things. If you don’t rest first, you’ll be ineffective when you’re most needed by others. But if you’re kind to yourself first, you’ll feel energized and ready to give of yourself to your family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop​

Telling overachievers to "rest more" is simply too abstract. At 27, I was face-down on my kitchen floor having a complete nervous breakdown—and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Last time, I shared ​Brandon's story​ —the CEO who went from 15-hour days to 4-hour days by implementing a simple 24-hour Rest practice. I also revealed how burnout is actually depletion across four core areas. The Work Is Never Done… For years, I believed the lie that rest was something you earned after the work was done. But the work is never done. So we grind, hustle, and push through—numbing ourselves with distractions (like scrolling social media) and calling it rest. That way of living might get results for a time, but it inevitably leads to a life that feels hollow no matter how "successful" you appear from the outside. Here's what I discovered instead... My nervous breakdown became the catalyst for discovering what I now call the Rhythms of REST—a framework designed to keep your core life rhythms in sync so you can sustain success without burning out. Much like a heart, where all four chambers must work together for proper blood flow, your life depends on four key rhythms working in harmony: Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, and Tangible.

A few weeks ago, I told you about Brandon —the CEO who went from 15-hour days to 4-hour days without his company suffering. But I never told you how he got there. Brandon hadn't taken a real day off in 5 or 6 years. He had so much work to do, he felt he would be buried if he took a day off. So I told him about the ancient Jewish practice of Sabbath—a twenty-four-hour period of rest that begins at sundown on Friday and ends at sundown on Saturday. I encouraged him to start with a shorter period, from sundown until noon the next day, but when he learned that it began in the evening, something clicked for him. He wanted to do it from 6 p.m. on Friday until 6 p.m. on Saturday, which left him some time on Saturday evening to do some work. Week 1 went great! He did something fun for himself, spent time with his family, rested, and walked. After 2-3 months of doing this, something shifted, and he began to feel differently and see from a new perspective. Work no longer stressed him out, and he was enjoying life again! As one commenter said when I posted about this on LinkedIn, "The breakthrough isn't just working fewer hours, but creating intentional rhythms that let creativity, focus, and energy align." Here’s the hard truth Brandon learned: your business (life, job, you fill in the blank) will survive one day without you. Honestly, there was no logical explanation for it. It doesn't really make sense. Such a small shift with massive results. How did that happen? The Rest Dilemma You see, most leaders don't know what rest is or how to rest. Is it sleep, watching Netflix, sitting in a hammock, or reading a book under a tree? Sometimes. Furthermore, how do you even know when you’re truly rested? It’s different for everyone, but the opposite of rest is burnout or overwhelm. Here's how I define burnout and overwhelm: A state of Relational, Emotional/mental, Spiritual, and Physical exhaustion and depletion. It can be one, two, or all of them at once. Together, those four areas make up wholeness. Thrive in those four areas and you will become more whole; if not, you will be depleted and exhausted. But that's still too abstract for most busy leaders. That's exactly why I developed a concrete framework. I call it the Rhythms of REST ℠. More on that next time. Your Rhythms Check This is about your Spiritual rhythms —the practices and beliefs that ground you in something greater than your daily tasks and give your life meaning beyond your next achievement. But it’s also very practical. If you don't create intentional rhythms of rest…you'll continue the exhausting cycle of working harder to solve problems that require you to work smarter, leading to burnout and decreased effectiveness. But if you establish one consistent rhythm of rest...you'll discover what Brandon found—that stepping back actually propels you forward with greater clarity, creativity, and sustainable energy. Believe it or not, a day of real rest every week can determine whether you're running on empty or operating from a place of renewal. This week's rhythm: Block out 24 hours this week (12 if you can’t start there) where you completely disconnect from work. No emails, no "quick checks," no exceptions. What would have to be true for you to trust that taking 24 hours completely off work wouldn't bury you? Until next time, Kent Whenever you’re ready, there are four ways I can help you… Try the REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, Win the Morning, Win the Day! Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop

51 degrees. 10 weeks out from my knee surgery, I am only able to bend my knee 51 degrees when it should be 90. I thought I'd be playing golf by now—instead, I'm scheduling my second surgery. Due to a buildup of scar tissue, I will need to have arthroscopic lysis of adhesions and closed manipulation. Translation: general anesthesia, a ⅜ inch incision, remove the excess scar tissue with an arthroscopic cutting device, and then manually bend my knee to 90 degrees. Fun-wow. My initial reaction was one of shock, anger, sadness, confusion, disappointment, and a profound sense of hopelessness. Since then, I’ve accepted it, found a new physical therapist, and moved on. But I’m still not happy about it. When was the last time you got news that made you want to punch a wall? Initially, after hearing the news of a second surgery, that’s how I felt—angry, sad, devastated, and hopeless. My honest fear was What if my leg never fully heals? But here's what I’ve learned about handling life's curveballs. Someone really needs to hear this. Why High Achievers Struggle Most with Disappointment It can be tough to work through bad news—especially for high achievers who highly value progress and productivity. We are often hardest on ourselves, and it’s easy to get stuck if we are always measuring forward against an ideal rather than backward from the place where we started. One thing we rarely do is allow ourselves time to grieve and process disappointments. The grief process isn't just for death—it applies to every loss, including business failures, missed promotions, health setbacks, and relationship disappointments. In the face of my disappointing news, I took 24 hours to mope, grieve, express my anger, and then move to acceptance. With less consequential setbacks, decide how long you need to grieve (sometimes you may not know, but you can always add time if need be), and then move on. Here's what most leaders miss: Before acceptance comes an acknowledgment of pain and loss. Professor Terry Wardle wisely said, "Life is a series of ungrieved losses. Every loss in life demands an appropriate season of grieving. Loss is meant to be grieved, and when we fail to grieve losses, that loss internalizes." Without taking time to grieve, you will be tempted to keep going back there because you didn’t properly grieve it in the first place. But grieving isn’t just a solitary act; it involves other people. Professor Wardle goes on to say, “Grieving loss begins with finding a safe environment with people who are non-condemning, empathetic, who are confidential, and who finally give you the permission to say what’s inside and say it like it is.” In my case, that happened with my family, a few close friends, and my counselor. Who are your safe people when disappointment hits? The Hidden Cost of Staying Stuck Staying too long in your grief can also be damaging, leading to bitterness, cynicism, and perpetual disappointment—the leadership killers that destroy confidence, teams, and marriages. But how do you know when it’s time to move on? With less consequential things, it’s usually a choice, but the greater the grief, the longer the process, especially when it involves other people. You'll know you've processed it properly when you can talk about the disappointment without your chest tightening, when you can make decisions about your future without that loss controlling your choices. No, I’m still not happy about it, but taking time to grieve has helped me accept my second surgery and move on. Since it can’t be changed, my only choice is to face it head-on and prepare mentally and physically. Your REST Check Most high achievers simply push through disappointment and get back to work, but the truth is that unprocessed grief can become internalized bitterness, which will ultimately sabotage your life and leadership. If you skip the grieving process, you'll carry that disappointment into every relationship, every future decision, every team meeting, every strategic planning session. But if you give yourself permission to properly grieve, you'll develop emotional resilience. You'll make decisions from wisdom, not fear. You'll become the leader who helps others navigate their setbacks because you've learned to move through your own. Properly processing your grief determines whether setbacks will make you bitter or better. This week's Rhythm of REST : When disappointment hits, give yourself a specific timeframe to feel it fully before moving to acceptance. Twenty-four hours for smaller setbacks, longer for major losses. Find your safe people. Process it properly. What's one disappointment you've been "powering through" that actually needs to be grieved? Until next time, Kent PS - I know I didn’t finish telling you Brandon’s story, but I felt someone needed to hear this. Next time, I’ll share more about Brandon and what Rhythms of REST actually means. Whenever you’re ready, there are three ways I can help you… Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my Win the Morning, Win the Day! Minicourse Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop Sources How the Five Stages of Grief Can Help Process a Loss , Very Well Mind 5 Stages of Grief: How to Cope with Loss , West Georgia Wellness Center CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses

Brandon, a successful CEO of an education company, hadn't taken a day off in years. The company was doing fine—growing revenue, adding new accounts, and preparing to sell. But when we first talked, he couldn't remember a thought walking from one room to the next. Until we started working together. 2-3 months later, he went from working 12-15 hours per day to 2-4 hours per day. Today, he is a different person. Here's what I've learned from Brandon and dozens of other high achievers: The problem isn't that you're not productive enough. The problem is you're running a marathon at sprint pace, and your body, relationships, clarity, and joy are paying the price. You don't need another productivity hack. You need sustainable rhythms. That's why I'm shifting this newsletter from Catalyst to something more focused: Rhythms of REST . Every other Sunday, I'll share what I'm learning about how successful people actually sustain their success without burning out. Real frameworks. Real stories. Real results like Brandon's. Then during off weeks, I'll check in to see how it's going. If you're already subscribed, you're good to go. Just watch for Rhythms of REST starting this Sunday, August 24, 2025. Because here's the thing—you can keep pushing until something breaks, or you can learn to move differently. Brandon chose differently. His company didn't suffer—it thrived. He's no longer overwhelmed and anxious. His faith has grown tremendously. And his workload feels more than manageable. What would be possible if you chose differently, too? Hit reply and tell me: What's one thing you'd do if you had 8 extra hours in your week? I read every response. Until next time, Kent

When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.

When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this. Until next time, Kent

“Should I end this?” were the last words I said before collapsing to the ground in excruciating pain. The only thing I ended that day was my basketball career ⛹️! On Sunday, May 18, 2025, I ruptured my patella tendon playing basketball with my boys. We were playing a game of P.I.G., and it was […]

“You’re not going to become a monk, are you?”  My wife asked me this after I excitedly returned from a week-long retreat to a Trappist monastery and my growing fascination with monastic rhythms.  The obvious answer is no, since I’m neither single nor celibate It began the previous week when my twelve-year-old son and I […]