5 Rules to Transform Your Relationship with Money

Kent Murawski

What is it about money that can get to the core of who we are so quickly?

Business has been tough lately, meaning clients and revenue have been stagnant. Sometimes when that happens, I find myself questioning everything. That’s part of why I’m writing this article—so I can get back in a right state of mind.

Money is a bigger issue than most of us care to admit.

Not enough money, well, that’s called poverty. I’ve been there; I hate it, and you probably do too.

Having just enough money can be frustrating. It feels like you can never get ahead.

And too much money? Honestly, I’ve never heard someone say they have too much money. But if no matter how much you have it’s never enough, that’s a big problem, too.

Seems like a catch-22, doesn’t it?

5 Rules to Transform Your Relationship with Money

What’s the proper way to relate to money? Is it “the root of all evil” as some of the Bible thumpers like to say?

In case you wondered, the Bible doesn’t say money is the root of all evil. It says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils.

That’s a big difference.

Money is not evil. Craving it, striving after it, lusting for it, the love of it—at the expense of everything else—leads to evil. Like the internet or a hammer, money is a tool that can be used for evil purposes or good purposes depending on the hand that wields it.

Luckily, there is some ancient wisdom that can help us here.

#1 – Be Generous First

There is one antidote for greed and materialism. It’s called generosity. The Hebrews/Israelites—one of the oldest continuously existing cultures on earth—gave tithes. The word “tithe” simply means a tenth. Though tithes were mandatory after the law of Moses, they have always been more about heart posture and taking care of others.

Generosity was built into their culture, and I recommend building it into yours.

I don’t care if it’s 10%, but I recommend giving a percentage. For some people, 10% is burdensome, and for others, it’s a drop in the bucket. When you give by percentage, as your income increases, so does your generosity! Give it to causes you love, people who need it, or projects you want to support. Here are some recommendations as you consider this:

  • Give it first, not last. At the top of my budget is generosity. Why be generous first? Because first things matter, and they set the tone for what comes after. It does something in your heart when the first thing you do with your hard-earned money is give some away.
  • Reevaluate it each year. If your income rises significantly or falls for some reason, you can adjust the percentage.
  • Automate it if possible (or at least some of it). It can become a burden if you always have to write checks (if anyone does that anymore) or put in your card information afresh every time you give.

There have been times when we didn’t have money to give. And while money is important, it’s not all we have to give. We can also give of our time and talents. We can and should be generous with those as well, but especially when money isn’t an option.

My wife was the one who taught me that we always have something we can give.

#2 – Pay Yourself Second

When it comes to savings, financial experts typically tell you to pay yourself first, but I recommend paying yourself second. It’s still near the top but it should come after generosity.

Be generous first, pay yourself second, and then use the rest for living expenses and leisure.

#3 – You Don’t Own Anything

Here’s how I know this is true: you can’t take anything with you when you die. It’s not that “ownership” isn’t important. If you want to build wealth you have to own assets. I’m just suggesting you remind yourself often that you can’t take anything with you.

In truth, we are stewards, not owners. A steward is one who oversees or manages resources on behalf of someone else. Who is that someone else? It differs for each person. For some, it is God; for others, it may be your children or the organizations you plan to leave your wealth to. Either way, I think we can agree on this—we can’t take one cent of it with us when we die.

Naked we came from our mother’s womb, and naked we shall return.

#4 – Money Pales in Comparison to This

You can always make more money, but you can never get back time. Therefore, time is more valuable than money. But there’s something even more valuable than time: your attention. Everything is vying for our attention these days. The longer I live, the more I’m convinced of this.

Attention is probably the greatest gift we can give to another person.

When we are focused on money, our attention is elsewhere. And that means it’s not on who (or) what is most important to us.

Money is important. Time is valuable. But attention is invaluable.

#5 – You’re Trying Too Hard

Aldous Huxley said, “It’s dark because you’re trying too hard.” Often when I’m struggling, I initially go into panic mode and strive for a way out…until I realize it doesn’t help to focus on things I can’t control. The Serenity Prayer offers me comfort in those times:

God, grant me the Serenity

To accept the things I cannot change…

Courage to change the things I can,

And Wisdom to know the difference.

When you can’t go around something, the only way is over or through.

It’s part of the process to make you into a stronger, more compassionate person.

Your Next Step

These are my five rules for finance. They help me keep a healthy perspective on money. Without the right perspective, you will be tossed to and fro like the waves of the ocean.

How is your relationship with money? What mindsets do you need to adjust? What practices do you need to start or stop? Pick one of the five rules and write down one mindset to adopt and one step you need to take in the next 24-48 hours to improve your relationship with money.

Share your thoughts in the comments at the end of the post or reach out to me directly. I’d love to hear how you’re applying these rules to your financial life.

Kent

PS – Effective writing takes time and margin to write. ​ Buy Me a Coffee ​ so I can keep on creating!

Sources

1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.”

Job 1:21, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return.”

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

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3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out

By Kent Murawski • July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.

Why you're exhausted before fall even arrives...

By Kent Murawski • July 23, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.

Crisis Creates Clarity

By Kent Murawski • May 26, 2025
“Should I end this?” were the last words I said before collapsing to the ground in excruciating pain. The only thing I ended that day was my basketball career ⛹️! On Sunday, May 18, 2025, I ruptured my patella tendon playing basketball with my boys. We were playing a game of P.I.G., and it was […]

‘When You Hurry, You No Longer Care’: A Wake-Up Call from the Monastery

By Kent Murawski • May 16, 2025
“You’re not going to become a monk, are you?”  My wife asked me this after I excitedly returned from a week-long retreat to a Trappist monastery and my growing fascination with monastic rhythms.  The obvious answer is no, since I’m neither single nor celibate It began the previous week when my twelve-year-old son and I […]

The View from 50

By Kent Murawski • May 7, 2025
I always thought the big decisions were what shaped my life trajectory, but my 50th birthday celebration revealed something way more interesting—it’s actually the tiny, everyday choices that determine where you ultimately end up. It was the most meaningful birthday I’ve ever had.  Fair warning, this is a long one, but it will be worth […]

The Productive Power of Strategic Pauses

By Kent Murawski • March 19, 2025
Your capacity to recognize when to pause may be more valuable than knowing when to push. Lately, I haven’t had anything to write, which is a rare occurrence. Sure, I could try to pound something out or pull some unused content out of the archives (which I have tons of), but here’s what I’ve discovered: […]

How Are You? (The Success Predictor)

By Kent Murawski • March 6, 2025
How are you? Your answer to this question reveals more about your future success and well-being than any strategic plan. We often wear busyness as a badge of honor. Ask ten people how they are doing, and nine out of ten times the answer will be, “busy.” That’s not the way things ought to be. […]

The Hidden Cost of Being Too Hard On Yourself

By Kent Murawski • January 30, 2025
The weight of unrealistic self-expectations can feel crushing, especially at the start of a new year. January is not even over, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.  It’s often said that we can be our own worst bosses or that the most challenging person to lead is the person in the mirror.  What do you do […]

The Missed Opportunity in Failed Dreams

By Kent Murawski • January 16, 2025
Failed dreams can become your greatest victories. While dreams are essential for hope and growth, unfulfilled dreams can breed disillusionment. Yet what appears to be a “failed” dream often reveals itself as an opportunity. Barbara Corcoran, the renowned Shark Tank Investor, once said, “All my best successes came on the heels of failure.” This wisdom […]

Less Is More (Why Resolutions Don’t Work)

By Kent Murawski • January 4, 2025
Did you know that 92% of people give up on their goals by January 12th? Pretty shocking, right? I used to be part of that statistic. Every year, I’d write down my goals with excitement, only to find them collecting dust by February. It was frustrating and, honestly, a bit embarrassing. But then I discovered […]