Why Doing Nothing Makes Leaders More Anxious (And What Restores Them)
Rest and inactivity aren't the same thing. It took me 25 years to figure that out.
Not long ago, I performed a song with my daughter at an open mic. Did I feel like going out on a cold, dark Thursday night? Not really. Did it take effort? Absolutely. Was it restful? More than a nap ever could be.
When my daughter suggested singing a song together at an open-mic night, I jumped at the opportunity. She has a lovely voice and wanted to do a song I love—Starting Over by Chris Stapleton. This song was released during the COVID-19 pandemic and characterized the way many of us were feeling.
Did I feel like going out on a cold, dark Thursday night? Not really. Did it take effort? Absolutely. Was it restful? More than a nap ever could be.
What Leaders Get Wrong About Rest
Most leaders think rest means inactivity, but the truth is that rest often means doing other activities that replenish you in some other way—like playing guitar with your daughter at an open mic—even though it takes effort and energy.
Craig Groeschel leads Life Church—90,000 people across 41 locations in 12 states. You'd think someone at that level would "rest" by doing nothing. Instead? He does Jujitsu and is working on his pilot's license.
Read that again. Jujitsu. And flying planes.
That's not what rest is supposed to look like, right? But rest doesn't always mean lying in a hammock or collapsing on the couch—it means subtracting what drains and adding what replenishes.
Playing guitar is one of those things for me. It’s something I do nearly every Saturday on my day of rest (and other times as well). It challenges me mentally and replenishes me emotionally. I first started playing the guitar when I was fifteen, then let it go for a few years before picking it back up in college when I joined a band as a lead singer. Since then, it’s been an important part of my life—playing in worship bands and now for enjoyment. Playing and singing challenge my skills but also connect on an emotional level. I often deeply resonate with songs that, in turn, reflect something I’m going through or a season of my life. When I play, I go to a different place; it’s restful but on a different level.
Music has given me countless opportunities to connect with my kids and is something our whole family enjoys—Gina plays keys and has a butter voice, Kole plays guitar like a wizard and writes songs, Ava plays piano, guitar, and sings like an angel, and Jon, our youngest, is a rock-star drummer. That Thursday night at the open mic wasn't just about playing a song—it was about being present with my daughter in a way that energizes me instead of depletes me.
For me, rest also looks like reading fiction that transports me somewhere else, hiking trails where I can take in the grandeur of nature without checking my phone, or skiing double black runs that require total focus.
The Rest Reality
For high-capacity people, inactivity can be scary. Leaders usually love their work and enjoy being productive, so for them, inactivity can create anxiety.
Here's what I've learned after 25 years of trying to rest the 'right' way and failing: your emotional tank doesn't refill itself. You have to actively replenish it. And for high-capacity people, that replenishment often looks more like play than stillness. I used to condemn myself when I got bored, picked up a business book, or needed to clean out the basement or the garage on my day of rest. Now I’ve embraced it as a part of me. High-capacity people just rest differently.
Your RHYTHMS Check
This is about your Emotional rhythms—specifically, fun and hobbies. Your emotional tank doesn't refill itself through willpower or weekend crashes. It requires active replenishment through activities that challenge you mentally while restoring you emotionally.
If you don't protect time for what actually replenishes you, you'll keep white-knuckling through life, wondering why you feel hollowed out. But if you identify what fills your emotional tank (namely, fun) and schedule it like any other important meeting, you'll discover that rest doesn't mean stopping—it means shifting.
Your Emotional rhythm determines whether you're living from overflow or running on fumes.
This week's Rhythm of REST: Identify one activity that challenges you mentally while replenishing you emotionally—fun and hobbies especially. Block your next fun activity in your calendar it right now.
When was the last time you did something purely for the joy of doing it—not because it was productive or beneficial—just because it made you feel alive?
Hit reply and tell me: What activity are you committing to this week, and when exactly are you doing it?
Until next time,
Kent
P.S. - Your Emotional rhythm is just one chamber. But it's often the first one leaders sacrifice—and the hardest to restore once it's gone. I'm launching my first RHYTHMS OF REST beta group in 2026 to help you keep all four synchronized. Together. Just click the link to be added to the waitlist.
Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you...
- Try the 5-minute REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step.
- Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, Win the Morning, Win the Day!
- Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives
- Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop
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