When was the last time you looked at your values and actually felt convicted? I created my personal core values years ago. Read them every day. Have most of them memorized. Use them as a decision-making compass. They are so ingrained in me that I can’t live any other way. To go outside of my values is failure. To live within them is success. The Reality Gap If only it were that easy. Though I do seek to live my values in everything, in the day-to-day scramble of life, it’s easy to lose sight of them or default to an easier option. I’m not perfect, and I’m not always going to get it right. Neither are you. The urgent question you need to ask is, am I moving closer and closer to the person I want to be or drifting further away? Values aren't just reminders. They're the architecture of your soul. When you live disconnected from them, you feel it—even when everything looks successful on the outside. Knowing your values is a good start, but living by them requires intentionality. Values In Action Let me show you what this looks like in real life—the messy, trackable, accountable version. One of my personal values is “Intentional,” which simply means to do something by design. In my case, this primarily refers to my relationships. Because values without action are just nice words, I define it as an action, “I create thriving relationships by being an intentional husband, father, and friend.” But that’s still not enough. Here are some specific behaviors I practice in order to be intentional with my most important relationships: Wife - We aim to talk three times per week for at least 30 minutes, a bi-weekly date night, an entire day together quarterly, and a yearly getaway. Kids - I aim to intentionally connect with one of my kids each week. That could be an outing with one of them, watching a show, or just knocking on their door to chat for a bit. They all happen to live at home right now, but as they move out, that will become a weekly phone call or touch point. Friends - I aim to connect with my closest friends face-to-face once per month, and try to text them at least once in between. Living an hour away makes this harder, but that's exactly why I track it. Peter Drucker, sometimes referred to as the father of modern management once said, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” Your values are no exception. A good relationship can be hard to measure (you intuitively know how you feel about them—good, bad, or somewhere in between), but what creates a good relationship is easier to measure—time spent, effective communication, listening, dates, etc. These are my greatest opportunities for impact. My wife needs a husband who pursues her. My kids need a father who champions them. My friends need someone who shows up—in the small moments and the crises. Failure here ripples through generations. As John Maxwell wrote and I've embraced as my own definition of relational success, "Success is when the people who know me best respect me the most." The Proof How do I know I’m living this value? My wife recently commented on this during a conversation with one of my kids. She said, “Your Dad is one of the most intentional people I know. He has a reason for everything he does and has thought through it. It’s one of the things I love about him.” I’ve always been intentional, but in the past, my intentionality was lopsided—toward things that mattered less—like work, success, and growth. Being intentional about work is good. Being intentional about work while your relationships get your leftovers? That's a different story. Your Rhythms Check Your values are the cornerstones of all four rhythms—Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, and Tangible—understanding who you are at your core and aligning your daily life with that identity. They're not just words on paper, they're the architecture of your soul. When you live disconnected from them, you experience internal friction, even if everything looks successful on the outside. Start by clearly identifying your values. If not you'll wake up one day realizing you've been climbing the wrong ladder. Your calendar will be full, your bank account might be healthy, but you’ll feel empty and the people who matter most will feel like they got your leftovers. You'll be successful in everyone's eyes except yourself and the people who know you best. That’s not success. But if you make your values non-negotiable, you’ll create alignment between who you say you are and who you actually are. Your decisions become clearer. Your relationships become richer. You stop living in constant internal conflict. You build a life that looks successful from the outside AND feels restful on the inside. Your values determine whether you're building a life or just managing a schedule. This week's rhythm: Take 10 minutes to write down your top 3 values. Then ask someone close to you: "Based on how I actually spend my time and energy, what do you think my real values are?" Don't defend. Just listen. The gap between your stated values and their answer is your growth edge. Here are two great resources I've used to help me: ​Brené Brown Dare to Lead Values List​ ​Steven Covey 80th Birthday Party​ The wake up call: If your calendar and bank statement were audited, what would they say your real values are—not what you wish they were? Hit reply and tell me: What's ONE value you say matters to you, but if you're honest, your life doesn't currently reflect it? And what's ONE thing you're going to do in the next 24 hours to close that gap? Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop

1474 days of gratitude. For 1,474 days, I've been writing down three things I'm grateful for—without it, I don’t know where I’d be. Sure, I’ve missed some days here and there, but perfection is not the point…never has been. But before I move on, Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours! 

What if the reason you can't rest isn't because you're too busy, but because you've made rest itself too complex? Rest is simple, but it's not easy. Here’s what I mean: Simple is the opposite of complex. Complex comes from the word “complect” which means woven together, entwined, or braided. Simple comes from the word “simplex” which means single, plain, one-fold, unbraided, or unconnected. Easy refers to something that is accessible and effortless, versus difficult and demanding. I love simplicity, but I often find myself overcomplicating things. What Simple Actually Looks Like Simple is elegant. A simple and delicious recipe A simple and clear framework A simple and compelling mission A simple and streamlined look or design A simple and easy-to-use piece of technology Notice what they all have in common, they remove rather than add. Simplicity requires intentionality, focused thought, diligent effort, and often cutting, but it leaves you with something beautiful when it’s done. This is exactly what I learned the hard way. A Framework Born from Failure After my fall-down-on-the-floor nervous breakdown at 27, I had an epiphany: You don't need to understand or control everything to live and lead from a place of peace and rest. That moment led me to create the ​ Rhythms of REST℠ Framework​ —four key areas where all of us need simple, sustainable rhythms: R elational - the people and connections that matter most E motional/Mental - processing the weight of life and leadership S piritual - meaning, purpose, and grounding practices T angible - work, finances, and physical health. Just like a heart where all four chambers must work together for proper blood flow, a flourishing life depends on integrating these four rhythms. What a Well-Designed Life Looks Like The goal of life is simplicity. No one wants a complicated life. A simple life is a well-designed life. A well-designed life… Flows from a clear purpose and values, not others' expectations Gets reevaluated regularly; it’s dynamic, not static. Lives life holistically, rather than in separate compartments. Here’s what a well-designed life doesn’t mean… A well-designed life doesn’t mean perfection, and it doesn't mean we have ultimate control; we don’t. In fact, we have very little control except for self-control. We can’t control other people; we don’t control circumstances; and we can’t control what happens to us or around us for the most part. However, we do have a choice about how we respond to things and what we will do with the time that has been given to us. But simple doesn’t mean easy either. Doing the hard work of keeping things simple means we have to make difficult choices—choices that flow from our values. I learned this lesson the hard way fifteen years ago—crying in the car after four Christmases in five days. Being an intentional husband and father meant making a conscious choice to prioritize the well-being of myself and my family. That moment forced me to ask: Am I designing a life I love in line with my values, or succumbing to other people’s expectations? Which brings me to you… Your Rhythms Check This isn't about mastering one particular rhythm right now. This is about the values that shape your rhythms—because when your life is designed around your values rather than others' expectations, every area begins to work together. If you don't identify and prioritize your values, you'll keep saying yes to things that drain you and no to things that matter most. You'll end up with a complex life designed by committee—everyone else's priorities woven together until you can't find your own thread. But if you take the time to define your values, you can make difficult decisions from a place of clarity rather than guilt. You create simple systems that support what matters most. You stop apologizing for living intentionally. Your values determine whether you're living a life by design or by default. This week's rhythm: Take 15 minutes with pen and paper and do this brief core values exercise: If I could only say yes to three things in life, what would they be?" Don't overthink it. Don't make it complicated. Just write what comes first. Then look at your calendar for last week. How many of your commitments actually supported those three things? If someone looked at your calendar from last week, what would they say you value most—and would they be right? Most people think that creating rhythms of rest requires elaborate systems, perfect conditions, and massive life overhauls, but the truth is that simple, sustainable rest comes from eliminating complexity and living from your values—not by adding more structure. Leave a comment and tell me: What's the one thing you discovered you're currently saying yes to that your values would tell you to stop? I read every response, and I want to know what you're wrestling with. Until next time,

Driving home after four Christmases in five days, we were in tears. Not tears of joy—tears of exhaustion, overwhelm, and exasperation. Both our parents were divorced, but they all lived within two hours of each other. Obviously, we couldn't not visit all of them if we were going to the area. So, we set up Basecamp at one of our parents' houses, and each day, we traveled to one of their houses for another Christmas. In the end, we were a mess, and none of us was satisfied with the amount of time we'd spent with each one. It was like something out of the movies! At the time, we had young children, the desire to establish traditions of our own, and the desperate need for some downtime during the holidays. Fifteen years ago, that trip was the catalyst that helped us decide NOT to travel during the holidays. That decision changed everything —which is exactly what we're going to explore together on November 18th in a free webinar I'm calling The December Decision. Save your spot for the FREE webinar → Some might feel it’s too early to start talking about Christmas, but we've already begun receiving holiday gift magazines and seeing Christmas commercials weeks ago. Which means you're probably already feeling the pressure to plan, book, and commit. Holiday Overwhelm Is Real The truth is, even with that decision not to travel and other intentional ones, the holidays can STILL feel overwhelming. Your December probably includes work projects rushing to close before year-end, endless holiday parties—company events, client dinners, kids' school celebrations, church gatherings, neighborhood parties. Then there are family expectations around travel plans, hosting duties, gift shopping, and maintaining traditions like Christmas cards. Meanwhile, your kids' activities don't stop just because it's December, not to mention the year-end financial reviews, planning sessions, and strategic meetings that need to happen. And somehow you're supposed to smile through it all and "enjoy the magic of the holidays," right? Here’s the truth we know but don’t want to say: the people who matter most get whatever's left over. Your spouse gets the exhausted, irritable version of you. Your kids get the distracted, stressed, 'not now' version. And by December 26th, you’re exhausted, and there are only a few days to recover (if you get any time off at all) before the New Year begins, and it starts all over again This is the pattern, but maybe this year it will be different? Your Rhythms Check This is about your Relational rhythms —the quality of connection with the people who matter most. The holidays test these rhythms more than any other season because you're forced to choose between maintaining peace with extended family, meeting professional obligations, and protecting the sacred circle of your immediate family. If you don't set boundaries now , you'll spend January apologizing to your spouse and kids for being absent during what should have been your most connected season. You'll have attended 15 parties but missed the moments that actually matter. But if you make The December Decision now , you create space for the traditions that fuel you rather than drain you. You model for your children that rest isn't optional—it's strategic. You enter the new year energized, not depleted. Your Relational rhythm determines whether the holidays strengthen your closest bonds or strain them to the breaking point. This week's rhythm: Before you say yes to one more holiday commitment, have a 15-minute conversation with your spouse or accountability partner. Ask: "What are the three non-negotiable holiday experiences we want to protect this year?" Everything else is optional. Which holiday obligation are you dreading most—and what would happen if you simply didn't do it this year? Leave a comment: What's ONE holiday commitment you're going to say no to this year? I want to celebrate your courage to choose rest over obligation. Until next time, Kent PS - If you're realizing your December is already spinning out of control, you're not alone. On November 18th, I'm hosting a FREE webinar called The December Decision —where we'll map out how to slow the rush, protect what matters, and turn the holidays into fuel for your best year yet. No fluff, just a practical plan you can implement immediately. ​Save your spot for the FREE webinar →

After a retreat to a Trappist monastery at the end of April, my spiritual life had never been better. Then everything fell apart. A brutal knee injury in May forced me to focus on recovery for months. In fact, I’m still recovering and have a long way to go. Some of my spiritual rhythms fell apart, too, and my purpose started feeling foggy and unclear. It’s hard when life puts you in a narrow place. But life does that sometimes. It forces you to ask the question, Do I matter when I can’t do all the things I normally do? Do I Matter? Not long ago, I walked into my office and my youngest son had written on the whiteboard: "Jon was here." 

“I don’t know how to rest.” This is what one leader said to me during a coaching session. Does that ring true for you? Most people think rest is something you earn after completing all your work, but the truth is the work is never done—which means rest isn't a reward, it's a rhythm you choose before you need it. That’s why I encourage people to rest first. The Missing Half of the Golden Rule We’ve all heard a version of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The emphasis is usually on the first part—"Do unto others" and "Love your neighbor." But I rarely hear the second part talked about: "As you would have them do unto you" and "as yourself. Here’s what I mean. Like you, I’ve noticed I’m not always kind to myself. If I’m hungry, I’ll keep pushing through until I’m famished. If I need to use the restroom, I’ll often wait until I’m ready to burst. But lately, instead of putting myself last, I've been trying to put myself first. Don’t worry. I’m not using the Golden Rule to advocate for some new form of hyperindividualism or narcissism. We’ve got enough of that. I am, however, encouraging you to stop putting urgent but less important things before your own well-being. Just as on an airplane, you are instructed to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others, I wonder if the same is true for life? After all, if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you possibly be effective for others? You are the greatest asset you can give to the world . Your health, mental/emotional state, and well-being are usually more important than the task you’re doing. I’ve summed this up in the mantra, “Rest First.” What Rest First Really Means (Left off here on Claude) Practically speaking, resting first is an all-encompassing term for being kind to yourself, loving yourself, and putting yourself above things that matter less. This could include any or all of the four ​Rhythms of Rest​ : Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, or Tangible. Relational: Saying "I need space" before resentment builds Emotional: Sharing how you feel before you blow up Spiritual: Starting your day with silence before the chaos begins Tangible: Eating before you're famished, sleeping before you're exhausted Rest first doesn't mean doing less. It means protecting yourself so you can do more of what matters. Rest First is about being kind to yourself and putting yourself above less important things. If you don’t rest first, you’ll be ineffective when you’re most needed by others. But if you’re kind to yourself first, you’ll feel energized and ready to give of yourself to your family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop​

Telling overachievers to "rest more" is simply too abstract. At 27, I was face-down on my kitchen floor having a complete nervous breakdown—and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Last time, I shared ​Brandon's story​ —the CEO who went from 15-hour days to 4-hour days by implementing a simple 24-hour Rest practice. I also revealed how burnout is actually depletion across four core areas. The Work Is Never Done… For years, I believed the lie that rest was something you earned after the work was done. But the work is never done. So we grind, hustle, and push through—numbing ourselves with distractions (like scrolling social media) and calling it rest. That way of living might get results for a time, but it inevitably leads to a life that feels hollow no matter how "successful" you appear from the outside. Here's what I discovered instead... My nervous breakdown became the catalyst for discovering what I now call the Rhythms of REST—a framework designed to keep your core life rhythms in sync so you can sustain success without burning out. Much like a heart, where all four chambers must work together for proper blood flow, your life depends on four key rhythms working in harmony: Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, and Tangible.

A few weeks ago, I told you about Brandon —the CEO who went from 15-hour days to 4-hour days without his company suffering. But I never told you how he got there. Brandon hadn't taken a real day off in 5 or 6 years. He had so much work to do, he felt he would be buried if he took a day off. So I told him about the ancient Jewish practice of Sabbath—a twenty-four-hour period of rest that begins at sundown on Friday and ends at sundown on Saturday. I encouraged him to start with a shorter period, from sundown until noon the next day, but when he learned that it began in the evening, something clicked for him. He wanted to do it from 6 p.m. on Friday until 6 p.m. on Saturday, which left him some time on Saturday evening to do some work. Week 1 went great! He did something fun for himself, spent time with his family, rested, and walked. After 2-3 months of doing this, something shifted, and he began to feel differently and see from a new perspective. Work no longer stressed him out, and he was enjoying life again! As one commenter said when I posted about this on LinkedIn, "The breakthrough isn't just working fewer hours, but creating intentional rhythms that let creativity, focus, and energy align." Here’s the hard truth Brandon learned: your business (life, job, you fill in the blank) will survive one day without you. Honestly, there was no logical explanation for it. It doesn't really make sense. Such a small shift with massive results. How did that happen? The Rest Dilemma You see, most leaders don't know what rest is or how to rest. Is it sleep, watching Netflix, sitting in a hammock, or reading a book under a tree? Sometimes. Furthermore, how do you even know when you’re truly rested? It’s different for everyone, but the opposite of rest is burnout or overwhelm. Here's how I define burnout and overwhelm: A state of Relational, Emotional/mental, Spiritual, and Physical exhaustion and depletion. It can be one, two, or all of them at once. Together, those four areas make up wholeness. Thrive in those four areas and you will become more whole; if not, you will be depleted and exhausted. But that's still too abstract for most busy leaders. That's exactly why I developed a concrete framework. I call it the Rhythms of REST ℠. More on that next time. Your Rhythms Check This is about your Spiritual rhythms —the practices and beliefs that ground you in something greater than your daily tasks and give your life meaning beyond your next achievement. But it’s also very practical. If you don't create intentional rhythms of rest…you'll continue the exhausting cycle of working harder to solve problems that require you to work smarter, leading to burnout and decreased effectiveness. But if you establish one consistent rhythm of rest...you'll discover what Brandon found—that stepping back actually propels you forward with greater clarity, creativity, and sustainable energy. Believe it or not, a day of real rest every week can determine whether you're running on empty or operating from a place of renewal. This week's rhythm: Block out 24 hours this week (12 if you can’t start there) where you completely disconnect from work. No emails, no "quick checks," no exceptions. What would have to be true for you to trust that taking 24 hours completely off work wouldn't bury you? Until next time, Kent Whenever you’re ready, there are four ways I can help you… Try the REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, Win the Morning, Win the Day! Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop

51 degrees. 10 weeks out from my knee surgery, I am only able to bend my knee 51 degrees when it should be 90. I thought I'd be playing golf by now—instead, I'm scheduling my second surgery. Due to a buildup of scar tissue, I will need to have arthroscopic lysis of adhesions and closed manipulation. Translation: general anesthesia, a ⅜ inch incision, remove the excess scar tissue with an arthroscopic cutting device, and then manually bend my knee to 90 degrees. Fun-wow. My initial reaction was one of shock, anger, sadness, confusion, disappointment, and a profound sense of hopelessness. Since then, I’ve accepted it, found a new physical therapist, and moved on. But I’m still not happy about it. When was the last time you got news that made you want to punch a wall? Initially, after hearing the news of a second surgery, that’s how I felt—angry, sad, devastated, and hopeless. My honest fear was What if my leg never fully heals? But here's what I’ve learned about handling life's curveballs. Someone really needs to hear this. Why High Achievers Struggle Most with Disappointment It can be tough to work through bad news—especially for high achievers who highly value progress and productivity. We are often hardest on ourselves, and it’s easy to get stuck if we are always measuring forward against an ideal rather than backward from the place where we started. One thing we rarely do is allow ourselves time to grieve and process disappointments. The grief process isn't just for death—it applies to every loss, including business failures, missed promotions, health setbacks, and relationship disappointments. In the face of my disappointing news, I took 24 hours to mope, grieve, express my anger, and then move to acceptance. With less consequential setbacks, decide how long you need to grieve (sometimes you may not know, but you can always add time if need be), and then move on. Here's what most leaders miss: Before acceptance comes an acknowledgment of pain and loss. Professor Terry Wardle wisely said, "Life is a series of ungrieved losses. Every loss in life demands an appropriate season of grieving. Loss is meant to be grieved, and when we fail to grieve losses, that loss internalizes." Without taking time to grieve, you will be tempted to keep going back there because you didn’t properly grieve it in the first place. But grieving isn’t just a solitary act; it involves other people. Professor Wardle goes on to say, “Grieving loss begins with finding a safe environment with people who are non-condemning, empathetic, who are confidential, and who finally give you the permission to say what’s inside and say it like it is.” In my case, that happened with my family, a few close friends, and my counselor. Who are your safe people when disappointment hits? The Hidden Cost of Staying Stuck Staying too long in your grief can also be damaging, leading to bitterness, cynicism, and perpetual disappointment—the leadership killers that destroy confidence, teams, and marriages. But how do you know when it’s time to move on? With less consequential things, it’s usually a choice, but the greater the grief, the longer the process, especially when it involves other people. You'll know you've processed it properly when you can talk about the disappointment without your chest tightening, when you can make decisions about your future without that loss controlling your choices. No, I’m still not happy about it, but taking time to grieve has helped me accept my second surgery and move on. Since it can’t be changed, my only choice is to face it head-on and prepare mentally and physically. Your REST Check Most high achievers simply push through disappointment and get back to work, but the truth is that unprocessed grief can become internalized bitterness, which will ultimately sabotage your life and leadership. If you skip the grieving process, you'll carry that disappointment into every relationship, every future decision, every team meeting, every strategic planning session. But if you give yourself permission to properly grieve, you'll develop emotional resilience. You'll make decisions from wisdom, not fear. You'll become the leader who helps others navigate their setbacks because you've learned to move through your own. Properly processing your grief determines whether setbacks will make you bitter or better. This week's Rhythm of REST : When disappointment hits, give yourself a specific timeframe to feel it fully before moving to acceptance. Twenty-four hours for smaller setbacks, longer for major losses. Find your safe people. Process it properly. What's one disappointment you've been "powering through" that actually needs to be grieved? Until next time, Kent PS - I know I didn’t finish telling you Brandon’s story, but I felt someone needed to hear this. Next time, I’ll share more about Brandon and what Rhythms of REST actually means. Whenever you’re ready, there are three ways I can help you… Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my Win the Morning, Win the Day! Minicourse Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop Sources How the Five Stages of Grief Can Help Process a Loss , Very Well Mind 5 Stages of Grief: How to Cope with Loss , West Georgia Wellness Center CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses