Lately, I’ve been feeling sad, angry, and overwhelmed. I’m not 100% sure why. Some of it is definitely the high expectations I put on myself. Some of it is probably the sheer volume of important things that are happening at once. Looming deadlines. Consequential projects. Pivotal events in my children’s lives. And the things that normally work aren’t working. What then? Three Things That Hold When Everything Else Doesn’t Maybe you've been there too — doing all the right things, and still feeling like you're underwater. I don't have a formula for this, but here's what I keep coming back to. 1) Chop Wood, Carry Water One particular Wednesday, I really didn’t feel like working. I felt sad, anxious, angry, and lonely. I wanted to curl up in my bed and watch Netflix, but I had important work to do in preparation for a talk I’m giving at the end of April. It was a cold but delightfully sunny day, the birds were singing, and I thought for sure a walk would untangle my thoughts as usual. But it didn’t move the needle, and I finally accepted that I was a professional who had a job to do—I needed to “chop wood and carry water” anyway. “Chop wood, carry water” is an old Buddhist saying about embracing the mundane. Rather than escaping into something more glamorous or spiritual, it’s the place where transformation actually happens. This was also true for Brother Lawrence, a 17th-century French monk who worked as a shoemaker and cook. People said his greatest labor never diverted him from God. There was something about the way he stayed present and connected—never moving too slowly but never rushing, either. He had a calm devotion that affected everyone who saw him. That day, I embraced the mundane. I still felt sad and angry, but by the end of the day, I had made progress. And that’s what matters. 2) Lean into your anchors One of my anchor routines is my spiritual morning routine. It may sound exhausting to some, but it’s life-giving for me. I’m not sharing it as a prescription but rather as an encouragement to find your own rhythm. Mine begins at 4:30 AM with coffee—not because I want to get up that early, but because it’s the amount of time I need before the family routine begins. I start by filling out my ​five-year journal​ and ​daily gratitude journal. ​ Then from 5-6 AM, I read Scripture using the 2-year plan from the Book of Common Prayer, read 10 minutes of a spiritual classic (right now I’m reading The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard), and close with 15-20 minutes of silence prompted by a short reading in ​The Practice of the Presence of God​ by Brother Lawrence—a 17th-century monk in France. Finally, from 6-7 AM, I write this newsletter. No matter what’s happening around me, my routine anchors me, and when I miss it, I feel off. That’s what happened that Wednesday—I missed my morning routine. I didn’t feel bad for missing my routine; I was already feeling bad, and missing my morning routine exacerbated it. Had I done it that day, it might have been a better day, but when I miss a day, I don’t fret; I just get back in the saddle. 3) Acknowledge your emotions Emotions are how we experience the world. In the words of Dr. Peter Scazzero, they are “the language of the soul.” They are also a dashboard trying to tell us what’s happening inside. I find it helpful to treat my emotions like people. That might look something like this, “Sadness, I recognize you are here, and it’s okay. If there is something you want to tell me, I’m open. If not, that’s okay, too.” Then sit with them for a few minutes. Psychologists call this Acceptance Commitment Therapy—accepting what you can't control while committing to what actually matters. Interestingly, both Stoicism and Christianity share similar philosophies of acceptance and control. Did you know emotions last for only 90 seconds? According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, if an emotion lasts longer than that, it’s because you are rehearsing that thought, restimulating the emotion, and it’s triggering the same physical response again. I've tested this. When I stop feeding the thought, the wave really does pass. Acknowledging your emotions and giving them time and space to speak is often what allows them to resolve. Whether it’s a short walk, sitting by a lake, or simply finding a quiet corner, silence and solitude can give you the time and space you need to listen to your life. If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know—there’s nothing wrong with you. You're paying attention. And that matters. Your RHYTHMS CHECK Most people think the answer to overwhelm is a better strategy, but the truth is the answer is often just showing up and doing the next mundane thing in front of you — even when it doesn't feel like it's working. This is about your Emotional and Spiritual rhythms — because when life overwhelms you, these two chambers of the heart are doing the heaviest lifting. Your emotional rhythms are the dashboard telling you something needs attention. Your spiritual rhythms are the anchor that holds you steady while you listen. If you ignore what you're feeling and just push through, your emotions build up, and eventually you won’t be able to ignore them any longer. But if you slow down long enough to acknowledge what's happening inside, and lean into the anchors that ground you, it gives you the strength to keep moving forward even when you don’t feel like it. Your emotional and spiritual rhythms hold you steady when your mind and body aren’t cooperating. This week's rhythm: Stop ignoring those nagging feelings. Take 5 minutes to sit in silence. Name what you're feeling out loud—acknowledge it. Then ask it: "Is there something you want to tell me?" Write down whatever comes. Reflection question: What is one emotion you've been avoiding this week — and what might it be trying to tell you? Hit me back: What emotion showed up when you sat with it? Leave a comment here, on YouTube, or on social media (all handles @KentMurawski). I'd love to hear what surfaced for you. Until next time, Kent  PS - Does your morning routine need help? I’ve decided to give away Win the Morning, Win the Day! for free—a five-part mini-course that helps you design a simple, sustainable morning rhythm so you can start each day focused, grounded, and energized. Simply use this code: WINTHEMORNING100 Sources Mardoche Sidor, MD and Karen Dubin, PhD, LCSW, “The Power of Leaves on the Stream Metaphor for Personal Growth,” May 28, 2024, https://sweetinstitute.com/the-power-of-leaves-on-the-stream-metaphor-for-personal-growth/#_ftn2 WUSA9. (2021, May 26). The 90 second life cycle of an emotion [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxARXvljKBA

A room full of entrepreneurs watched me cry. And it was the most important business moment of my recent life. Last month, the mastermind group I’m a part of met in Austin, TX. A mastermind group is a small, trusted circle of leaders who meet to sharpen each other — iron on iron. On the second day, we did a private Q & A with Ryan Levesque—a 7-time Inc. 5000 CEO who's generated over $100 million in revenue and recently sold his company to move his family to a farm in Vermont. Smart, humble, and disarmingly real. Our group leader had told us not to waste his time with dumb questions, so when it was my turn, I asked: “What do you wish people would ask you that no one is asking you?” His answers so far hadn’t disappointed, so I thought he would drop another pearl of wisdom. Instead, he turned the question back on me. “I can’t answer that, but what’s so valuable to you, really deep down inside, that you want to ask me about?” I thought for a few seconds and began, “I think…” He immediately said, “No, don’t think—answer from here,” pointing to his heart. As hot tears flowed down my face, I asked my question, “How do you take something that is so deep inside of you, that has changed your life, and help people understand that it can transform their lives, too?” Honestly, I don’t remember how Ryan initially responded, but I do remember the vulnerable story he shared, with tears of his own, about his son. I won’t relate it here since it was a private Q & A session. But the main point wasn't his story. It was what happened in that room when he let us see him. What Your 5-year-old Self Has Been Trying to Tell You Then Ryan gave us an exercise that hit me like a freight train. Imagine yourself as a small child of 4 or 5, climbing up onto the table so you’re finally taller than the adults and fully seen. What would you say, or shout if necessary, to your parents or the most important people in your life? “See me!” That’s what I would shout. Growing up, my home was chaos. Yelling was the soundtrack. I felt lost in the mix. Parents always fighting. My sisters and me constantly bickering. My Mom overwhelmed with four kids. My angry Dad either passed out drunk or screaming at my Mom or us. I usually retreated to my room or outside. “See me,” is a cry for validation, especially from my Dad. I longed for him to teach me to be a man and tell me, “You have what it takes, son.” Like many men, my early drivenness was an attempt to compensate for my father’s lack of approval. I was chasing a ghost—the ghost of my father’s approval—though I didn’t know it at the time. I thought that if I could achieve outward success, people might see me—he might see me—and I could finally prove to myself that I was enough. That comes with a cost. It nearly tanked my marriage. Alienated my kids. And I nearly lost myself in the process. Seeking to define myself through accomplishment, I didn’t know who I had become. Something Shifted After Ryan left and we were sharing our takeaways from the session, tears flowed again. Mike, our group leader, had been telling me for years to “lead with vulnerability.” I always thought of myself as a vulnerable person, but over the years, whether from a calloused heart, the wounds vocational ministry had left, pride that can come with age and proficiency, or something else, that vulnerability had gotten buried. I always thought of myself as a vulnerable person. But over the years—a calloused heart, the wounds vocational ministry left, the pride that comes with age and proficiency—that vulnerability had gotten buried. But that day, something cracked open—deep down in a place I'd been protecting for years. I suddenly understood, at a visceral heart level, what it means to lead with vulnerability. Why Vulnerability Changes Everything Vulnerable leadership makes people feel seen, heard, understood. It gives us the courage to look foolish. It reminds us that we can’t do it on our own. As John Donne reminded us in his 1623 poem, “No man is an island, entire to himself.” Moving forward, Kent, the heart communicator, will take the lead. And Kent the teacher will follow. Maybe it’s time to stop thinking so much and lead from your heart a little more. Your RHYTHMS Check This is about your Emotional and Relational rhythms —vulnerability sits at the intersection of both. Emotional health gives you the courage to feel exposed. Relational health gives you the people who make that exposure safe. If you don't take the risk of being vulnerable, you stay hidden—successful on the outside, invisible on the inside. Your relationships stay shallow. Your leadership stays transactional. And the people around you never get permission to be real, either. But when you lead with vulnerability, everything shifts. People trust you more. Relationships deepen. And you finally stop performing your way through life. Your emotional and relational rhythms determine whether people follow your title or follow you. This week's RHYTHM OF REST: Share one vulnerable thing with someone you trust—your spouse, a close friend, a mentor, a small group. Brené Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. In other words, if your palms don't get a little sweaty before you share it, it's not vulnerability. What is the one thing you've been afraid to say out loud—and who is the one person you trust enough to say it to? Leave a comment and tell me: who are you going to be vulnerable with this week, and what's one thing you've been holding back? I read every response. Until next time, Kent PS - Take my 5-minute ​ RHYTHMS OF REST℠ Assessment​ to discover where you land on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—and get your free personalized report with next steps.

Do you have a plan for your life? As a leader, you probably have a business plan, a marketing plan, a financial plan, and a vacation plan. But what about your actual life? Recently, I spent two days with James, a young business owner in Florida, to help him create a Life Plan. 

Can I ask you something that might sting a little: when did you last have a genuinely great idea sitting at your desk? Companies spend millions of dollars helping people become "more productive." But most of those investments are built on a definition of productivity that's often nebulous or undefined. Recently, I had a conversation with an executive whom I coach about what productivity means to him. His two-word answer was clarifying: Productivity is “measurable results,” he said. Of course, you have to define what those measurable results are — and in which area. The results need to align with your role and your strengths: the things you're both good at and energized by. Otherwise, you could be logging impressive numbers in an area that doesn't move the needle — or worse, doesn't represent your highest contribution. What Is Productivity, Really? Productivity is doing more of the right things—work aligned with your strengths and your role—and less of the wrong things—work that doesn’t maximize your strengths and doesn’t drive the results that matter most. Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap, calls this your Zone of Genius—activities you uniquely excel at, love, and are energizing. It's different from the Zone of Excellence — things you do very well but that drain you, the Zone of Competence—things others can do just as well, or the Zone of Incompetence—the tasks others do better than you that you hate doing. He recommends spending 70% of your time in your Zone of Genius. A tall task, I know, but well worth the effort. So here's a question worth sitting with: What is your definition of productivity? Once you define it, there's a second question you have to answer: How do you actually become more productive, and is that even the right word? Now, back to my conversation with the executive. When I asked him how he gets measurable results, his answer was, “I sit for 10 hours a day at my desk.” Of course, he could see through his answer as soon as it came out of his mouth. Sitting at your desk for 10 hours a day doesn’t make you productive. In fact, it undoubtedly lessens productivity. Your Desk Is the Last Place You’ll Find Your Best Thinking With the rise of hybrid work and more freedom to choose how and where you are most productive, the possibilities are nearly endless. In this executive's case, I asked him where his best ideas come from. His answer mimics what many of us know to be true—a hard workout, a walk, in the shower, or sitting in the hot tub. I don’t have a hot tub, but if I did, I could imagine it being a place where ideas are generated! Sitting at your desk for 10 hours straight is not exactly an idea factory—it’s an idea graveyard! That's one thing that AI can't do for you or your company: create novel ideas. Whether walking, drawing on a whiteboard, going to the library or a coffee shop, or sitting on a park bench with a Moleskine journal—my best ideas don’t come from sitting at my desk—especially when I’m stuck on a problem. As my friend Mark Batterson always says, “Change of Place + Change of Pace = Change of Perspective.” The Science of Good Ideas In May of 1879, after recurring migraines and other physical ailments, Friedrich Nietzsche was forced to leave his position as a university professor. After resigning, he retreated to a small village in the Swiss Alps during the summers. Surrounded by the grandeur of the Alps, Nietzsche became a renowned walker, sometimes walking up to 8 hours per day. Eventually, he filled six small notebooks with the prose that became some of his best work. By 1889, ten years later, Nietzsche had regained his health and written some of his most influential books, including The Wanderer and His Shadow. His conclusion? “Only thoughts that come by walking have any value.” Habitual, low-demand activities — walking, showering, even doing dishes — free your brain to operate in the background. Neuroscientists call this the default mode network (DMN) : a set of brain regions that activate when your mind is at rest or wandering. This is when ideas collide in unexpected ways. This is where breakthroughs live. Modern knowledge work demands constant productivity. Portable technology comes with the expectation that we’re always on. But creative thinking needs margin . You can’t run back-to-back meetings, pile on menial tasks, and expect to do your best work. I learned this the hard way after years of running at full capacity, pushing through my red zone, and wondering why my ideas felt stale. Protect Your Energy and Produce Your Best Work Structuring your days for both focused work and creative margin is an art. Here are three practical ways to protect your energy and produce your best work. #1 - Define and Protect Your Peak Creative Times Leadership expert Carey Nieuwhof recommends splitting your day into three zones: Green Zone — peak energy, creativity, and focus. Usually 3–5 hours. Red Zone — 1–2 hours of mental mush. Don't fight it; work with it. Yellow Zone — the in-between. Solid but not spectacular. #2 - Treat Each Day Like Three Days I’m an early riser so this is how it works for me. You might be different so adjust accordingly. Morning/Day 1 (Green Zone): 8–11 AM for me — creative, focused thinking and high-priority work that actually moves the needle. Afternoon/Day 2 (Yellow Zone): Lunch to 4 PM — meetings, admin, necessary tasks that don't require deep thinking. Evening/Day 3 (Red Zone): After 4 PM — work out, replenish, have dinner, be present with family. #3 - Time Block Your Days and Hours Time blocking is a game-changer, but most people only block their hours, not days. Here’s how I structure my days: Daily Time Blocking Pick a theme for each day or for half days. Here’s how I structure my days: Monday: Morning for creation; afternoon for admin and finances. If admin doesn't happen Monday, it haunts me all week. Tuesday: Full coaching day. Wednesday: Thinking, writing, creating. No meetings. I follow the work wherever it goes. Thursday: Coaching and flex day for wrapping up projects. Friday: Writing in the morning, then relationships — a coffee date with my wife first, then 2–3 hours of writing, often lunch with a friend or business colleague. Hourly Time Blocking For hourly blocking: map out 30-minute increments. Use pencil. Leave room for deep work blocks of 2–3 hours in the morning or during your green zone. If You Lead a Company, Organization, or Team… Leaders, you want your people to be productive. I get it. But here’s the challenge: do you have a shared definition for productivity? Is each person's job description built around their strengths and the results that actually matter—or is it collecting digital dust in a folder somewhere? Extensive research has shown that strengths-based management and employee development lead to more engaging and productive workplaces in key areas such as sales, profit, turnover, and safety. Furthermore, one in two employees has left a job to get away from a manager or boss at some point in their career. Bosses and managers—you’ve got to do better. When’s the last time you’ve invested in your personal leadership and development? Read a leadership book? Invested in coaching? Sat down with your team and asked how you can grow as a leader? I recommend starting here: Have each employee write their ideal job description aligned with their position and their strengths—the work they're good at and that energizes them. Compare it to their current description, and adjust accordingly. Set three big quarterly priorities: one primary, two secondary, and let them run with it. Check in regularly. Evaluate priorities quarterly. Set new ones together. Which brings us to the question underneath the question — because productivity isn't just a scheduling problem. It's a rhythms problem. Your RHYTHMS Check This is about the “T” in REST or Tangible rhythms —specifically how you structure your work, protect your creative energy, and operate from your Zone of Genius rather than defaulting to busyness as a substitute for productivity. If you don't define what "productive" means for your specific role and strengths, you'll keep measuring hours instead of outcomes, burning energy on the wrong work, and wondering why you feel exhausted but behind. But when you get clear on your Zone of Genius and build your days around it, you'll produce better results in less time, lead from a place of clarity and energy, and finally stop confusing motion with momentum. Your Tangible rhythm determines whether your work is sustainable—or just busy. This week's rhythm: Identify your Green Zone (your peak 2–3 hour creative window) and block it on your calendar today — not tomorrow. Protect it like a non-negotiable meeting with your most important client. Then identify one recurring task that belongs in your Red Zone and move it there. Where are you spending your best hours on your worst work? Leave a comment. What is one thing you're moving out of your peak creative time this week and back where it belongs? I read every one — and I might just have a thought for you. Until next time, Kent P.S. — Rest isn't one-dimensional — and neither is the life you're after. When your Relational rhythms are strong, your marriage is solid and your people know they have you. When your Emotional rhythms are healthy, you laugh more, stress less, and lead with clarity. When your Spiritual rhythms are grounded, you wake up knowing why you're doing this. When your Tangible rhythms are working, you do your best work — and still have something left over for the people who matter most. That's not a fantasy. That's what the right rhythms actually produce. I'm launching my first RHYTHMS OF REST beta group in 2026 to help you build all four — professional excellence without sacrificing what's most important to you. Click the link to get on the waitlist. Sources Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap ​ “ Shower Creativity, ” NETO Innovation Twilight of the Idols, Friedrich Nietzsche Rigoni, B., & Asplund, J. (2016, July 7). Strengths-based employee development: The business results. Gallup. Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step.​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop Design a Life Plan Weekend to clarify your purpose, align your core values, and build a living plan that grows and flexes with every season of your life.

The worst advice you could give to anyone who thrives on forward motion is “just rest.” Here’s the #1 mistake high-capacity people make about rest—thinking rest means doing nothing. Case in point: what’s the immediate picture that comes to mind when you hear the word “rest”? A couch? A hammock? Bed? Bingeing Netflix in your pajamas? The core fear most leaders have around rest? The fear of doing nothing. Leaders thrive on forward motion. Doing nothing is one form of rest, but more than a few hours of doing nothing, and you’re scratching your head, wondering what to do next. People who love productivity often tell me, “I don’t know how to rest.” That’s because the term “rest” is misunderstood and too vague. We don’t know how to rest because we don’t understand what it actually means. What Is Rest? Here's where it gets interesting. At the end of the Genesis creation narrative in the Hebrew Torah, there's an odd statement: God rested. The Hebrew word for rest is shâbath—where "Sabbath" comes from. But it doesn't mean doing nothing. It means to cease, stop, and celebrate. God finished his work, declared it "very good," and stopped to enjoy what he'd accomplished. Whether you’re religious or not, this brings up an intriguing question: if, as the Bible describes, God—the creator of the universe who holds everything together—took time to stop and celebrate for a whole day and the world didn’t fall apart, then why can’t we? Rest Isn’t What You Think We need a new definition of rest. The #1 mistake many leaders make is equating rest with inactivity, when in fact, rest is often active. More often than not, rest is doing what replenishes you. Rabbi/philosopher Abraham Heschel famously said, “If you work with your mind, Sabbath with your hands, if you work with your hands, Sabbath with your mind.” On my day of rest, I enjoy playing music, taking walks, hiking, skiing, playing golf, biking, reading fiction and poetry, puttering in the garage or basement, working with my hands, and hanging out with my family. All active. All replenishing. I discovered this several years ago after a leadership conflict left me emotionally depleted. I retreated to the garage and refinished furniture for months. Working with my hands didn't require emotional capacity, but it helped me heal. That's when it clicked: depletion doesn't get fixed by doing nothing. It gets fixed by doing things that replenish you—and usually involves fun and hobbies. A 400% Decrease in Hours Worked When I began coaching Brandon, a tutoring company founder, he couldn't hold a thought while walking from room to room. He was burned out and hadn't taken a day off in five years. When I explained the Jewish Sabbath—twenty-four hours of complete rest—he was skeptical. But when he learned it runs sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, meaning he could still work Saturday evening, everything clicked. Within months of implementing one full day of rest per week, he went from working 12-15 hours daily, seven days a week, to 2-4 hours daily, six days a week. That's nearly a 400% decrease in hours worked per week! Sabbath was the catalyst. Could a real day of rest become a catalyst for you, too?" The Leader’s Challenge Here’s the challenge. You love your work, personal development, creative problem-solving, and creating things. Telling you to do nothing can feel like torture and doesn’t work. Maybe you find yourself sneaking emails, peeking at your computer, or doing some other work-related task on what’s supposed to be a day of rest. I know I do sometimes. Doing nothing for too long doesn’t usually work well for people like us. Instead of doing nothing on a day of rest or after work, why not try some things that replenish you? Your RHYTHMS Check This is about all four rhythms —rest isn't one-dimensional. When your Relational rhythms are depleted, you need deep connection, not isolation. When your Emotional rhythms are drained, you need fun and hobbies, not more productivity. When your Spiritual rhythms are dry, you need purpose and beauty, not another task. When your Tangible rhythms are exhausted, you need movement, sleep, and nourishment, not another deadline. One type of "rest" doesn't fix all four. If you don't audit what type of depletion you're actually experiencing, you'll keep resting wrong and wondering why you're still burned out. But if you identify which rhythm needs replenishment and give it what it actually needs, you'll stop running on fumes and start operating from overflow. This week's rhythm: Ask yourself: Which of the four rhythms (Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, Tangible) feels most depleted right now? Then do ONE thing this week that specifically replenishes that rhythm—not the rhythm that's easiest to fix, but the one that needs it most. Imagine taking a full day to do only what replenishes you (no productivity, no checking email, no "sneaking" work), what would you actually do? List three activities. Then ask yourself: when's the last time you did any of them? Leave a comment and tell me which rhythm is most depleted for you right now—and what one thing you're going to do this week to replenish it. I read every response. Until next time, Kent PS - If you haven't taken the ​RHYTHMS OF REST Assessment ​ yet, do it today! This will help you identify exactly where you fall on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—and show you which of your four rhythms needs attention most. Takes 5 minutes. Get your personalized results. Sources Genesis 2:2, The Bible Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Most leaders don't go down because of one thing—it's four rhythms quietly out of sync all at once. That's exactly why I'm launching my first ​ RHYTHMS OF REST beta group ​ in 2026, to help you get all four working together so you can build a thriving life without sacrificing what matters most. Spots will be limited. Click the link below to join the waitlist. ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop​ 

If it can happen at age 76, it can happen to anyone. Like many of you, I was shaken by the recent news about Philip Yancy’s eight-year affair with a married woman. It gave me pause and made me reflect. The main insight I walked away with? You can never stop fighting for your marriage. If you’re not married, apply that to your relationships. If you want good ones, you can never stop fighting for them. This type of failure isn’t sudden; it’s gradual. It’s a slow fade. I know because I’ve watched it in my own marriage in different seasons. Most people think that if you have a good marriage, you can coast, but the truth is that every great marriage is one season of neglect away from becoming a mediocre one. The moment you stop fighting for it, you start losing it. Like anything you fight for, there is no neutral ground. You are either advancing or retreating. The irony? Even as we'd eventually slip to a 6, we've spent 25 years learning what actually works. We have a good marriage—just one that has drifted into maintenance mode instead of growth mode. The practices I'm about to share aren't theory. They're the rhythms that got us through two decades of marriage and the same ones we're using right now to climb back to an 8. Simple but Not Easy At our twenty-fifth anniversary celebration last year, one of our friends shared about all the people he knew in their forties getting divorced. He pointed out our dedication to growing our marriage and asked us to share some wisdom with the group. Here are three things that have kept us together and growing. 1) Never Stop Dating We certainly haven’t always done this perfectly, but we’ve been consistent. Until recently, it was every two weeks (and sometimes longer), though we rarely went a month without a date. Our kids are older now, and our youngest can stay home by himself, so we’ve transitioned to weekly dates where I’ve noticed something important: spending focused time alone reminds me why I fell in love with Gina in the first place. In over 25 years of marriage, we’ve both been three or four different people and have changed significantly—for the better. Dating reminds me that we can never stop getting to know each other. What does this look like practically? Here’s our current rhythm: a weekly coffee date, a monthly dinner date, a quarterly extended date (3-6 hours), and a yearly multi-day getaway. And we like to sneak in an overnighter or two in addition to our annual getaway. Whatever your rhythm, decide on it together, put it on paper, and schedule it. 2) Never Stop Growing Marriage (and any relationship, for that matter) is like a plant. It has to be cared for and cultivated if you want it to grow and flourish. After our recent marriage review, we were not where we wanted to be and decided it was time for a marriage tune-up—another round of marriage counseling! Here’s what investing in your marriage looks like: Find some marriage mentors —a couple who have been married longer and/or have a better marriage than you. Ask them to meet with you so you can ask them some questions about marriage. Over time, they might even become marriage mentors. Find a good marriage counselor. They provide a needed second perspective on your recurring problems and share tools you may not have thought of. We’re on a waitlist right now. Read a marriage book together. Two that I recommend: The 5 Love Languages quiz and book by Gary Chapman, and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver. Do an annual marriage review —the practice we skipped for ten years that let us slide back to a 6. 3) Never Stop Talking It can be hard to find time to talk when life is in full swing (marriage, kids, and heavy work responsibilities), but find time you must. Clinical psychologist, author, and Professor Emeritus at the University of Toronto, Dr. Jordan Peterson contends that 90 minutes of weekly conversation is the minimum needed for a healthy marriage relationship. Otherwise, we develop a backlog of communication that affects our intimacy. Simply put, we don’t talk enough, and men, you probably aren’t listening enough. After we shared those three things, I said, “It’s nothing revolutionary. It's simple stuff.” To which someone replied, “It’s ​simple but not easy.​ ” I couldn’t agree more. Having a healthy and fulfilling marriage is not that complicated, but neither is it easy. An Embarrassing Admission I’ve been open about our past ​marriage struggles​ . My wife and I did our first annual marriage review in 2015 and loved it. We asked some tough questions, evaluated how we were doing, talked about what we wanted our marriage to be, and formed a plan to get there. It produced one of the best marriage seasons of our lives for several years. Sadly, we didn’t do one for another ten years, which is why we recently found ourselves sliding back into mediocrity when we did another review in late 2025. The toughest question of the review: On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate our marriage and why? Both of us gave it a similar rating. Her rating: 6. My rating: 6.5. Not great, I know. Certainly not #MarriageGoals. But there’s good news, too. The review allowed us to pinpoint where we were falling short and form a plan that we’ve already begun to execute, including: A fresh round of marriage counseling. A weekly date. Reading a marriage book together. Having a weekly parenting conversation (being on the same page with our thirteen-year-old was a pain point). Pursuing a hobby together. Our goal: to move from a 6 or 6.5 to an 8 by June 30, 2026. Already, by setting our intention and forming a plan, we are seeing improvement. Mediocrity is easy. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Excellence is hard. It takes constant work and improvement. Your RHYTHMS Check This is about your Relational rhythms —good relationships make for a happy life. Because marriage is the centerpiece of your inner circle, and when this primary relationship fails, everything downstream suffers. Much like the heart, where all four chambers must work together, your relational rhythm with your spouse pumps life into every other area. It’s easy to drift into roommate status, where you coexist but don't truly connect. The slow fade becomes inevitable. Your marriage can drop from an 8 to a 6 or worse without you even noticing. Never stop dating, never stop growing, never stop talking. When you do, it creates a marriage that advances rather than retreats. You become someone your spouse wants to spend time with. The compound effect of small, consistent investments transforms mediocrity into something worth fighting for. This week's action step: schedule your next marriage check-in right now. Pull out your calendar and block 90 minutes in the next 7 days—no phones, no kids, just focused conversation. If you're married, give this question to your spouse ahead of time and talk about it during your check-in: "On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate our marriage right now, and why?” Then ask, What one thing would move our marriage from where it is now to one point higher on a 10-point scale? If you’re not married, which relationship is in most need of attention right now, and what’s the first step you need to take? Your turn. Reply to this email and tell me: When's your next date scheduled, and what's the one thing you're committing to do this week to fight for your marriage? I read every response. Until next time, Kent PS - Your Relational rhythm is just one chamber. But it's the one that pumps life into everything else—and it's usually the first thing leaders sacrifice when life gets busy. I'm launching my first ​ RHYTHMS OF REST beta group ​ in February 2026 to help you master all four rhythms before another year slips by. Click the link to be added to the waitlist. Sources ​Philip Yancy’s eight-year affair with a married woman​ , Christianity Today The Five Languages of Love ​quiz​ and ​book​ by Gary Chapman ​The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work​ by John Gottman and Nan Silver ​“The Yearly Marriage Check Up​ ,” The Art of Manliness  ​Jordan Peterson Marriage Advice (90 Minute Rule for a Healthy Relationship)​ , the SRS Daily Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop​

Rest and inactivity aren't the same thing. It took me 25 years to figure that out. Not long ago, I performed a song with my daughter at an open mic. Did I feel like going out on a cold, dark Thursday night? Not really. Did it take effort? Absolutely. Was it restful? More than a nap ever could be. When my daughter suggested singing a song together at an open-mic night, I jumped at the opportunity. She has a lovely voice and wanted to do a song I love—Starting Over by Chris Stapleton. This song was released during the COVID-19 pandemic and characterized the way many of us were feeling. 

Nearly half of all Americans finished ZERO books last year. Reading 5 books per year puts you in the top 33 percent. Reading 10 books per year puts you in the top 21 percent. Reading 20, 30, or 40 books per year puts you in rare company — among the top 10 percent of readers. Which camp do you fall into? You see, in the past, I didn’t read much either…maybe 3-4 books per year. But several years ago, I decided to be a reader. That one decision changed my life. Since then, I’ve steadily increased the amount of time I read each day, which has led to more books read.  2025 is a bit deceiving because I read two books that were 600 pages—which is really like three books. That brings me up to about 29 books for the year. Here's what matters: It's less about the number of books you read and more about becoming a reader. Are We Getting Dumber? A recent article in the Economist highlighted some alarming trends. Multiple studies have concluded that adults, children, and teenagers are all reading less, and very small children are being read to less. Reading to my children has been one of the joys of my life. It’s such fun that I recently reinstated reading to my thirteen-year-old before bed…again. We are currently reading The Hobbit . Tolkien has lots of songs in his books, so I even dance and sing a little, too! The article bluntly states, “Reading is in trouble.”: In America, the share of people who read for pleasure has fallen by two-fifths in 20 years. That’s a 40% drop in just two decades. Sentences are getting shorter and simpler. Hundreds of NY Times bestsellers were analyzed and found that sentences in popular books have contracted by almost a third since the 1930s. Presidential speeches have dropped from postgraduate-level complexity to high-school-level in 250 years, from George Washington’s postgraduate-level score of about 28.7 to Donald Trump’s high-school-level score of about 9.4. Here’s what concerns me most: many leaders don’t read that much either, and that sets them at a significant disadvantage. Some of my best ideas come from cross-disciplinary reading or reading outside my field of expertise. No, I don’t read 50 or 100 books a year like some people. I can’t make that kind of time right now. That takes about an hour of reading per day. I read about two books per month—not to hit a number, but because I've experienced what happens when I don't. My thinking gets shallow. My creativity dries up. My leadership suffers. What Reading Actually Does for You #1 - Reading strengthens the neural pathways that make you sharp A former mentor of mine said, “Leaders are readers.” Though there are many forms of learning (podcasts, courses, etc), reading physical books does something podcasts and courses can't. Reading creates and strengthens the neural pathways your brain uses to think, process, and solve problems. When you stop reading, these pathways literally weaken. Your attention span shrinks. Your ability to think deeply deteriorates. I see this firsthand in my coaching business. Being a reader allows me to stay sharp for my clients, process complex ideas, and lead with more creativity. #2 - Reading makes you healthier My Nana was as sharp as a tack until the day she died at age 92, and one of the key memories I have is her doing crossword puzzles every time I came to her house. Reading comes with many physical and mental benefits. It has been shown to increase brain strength, empathy, sleep, and life expectancy, and decrease stress, depression, and cognitive decline as you age. All that by the simple act of reading. Seems like a small trade-off for so many benefits. I can personally attest to this. Reading makes you smarter and healthier. #3 - Reading Makes You Smarter When you read a book, you gain 2-3 years of accumulated knowledge. That’s how long the average book takes to research, write, and release. Beyond that, there are usually many more years of life experience embedded within its pages. Sir Francis Bacon, the renowned scientist and philosopher, coined the phrase “knowledge is power.” But knowledge without application is just information. Understanding is what happens when you apply what you read. When I read a book, I’m looking for relevant takeaways that apply right now , unless it’s a good fiction book that I’m reading for enjoyment. Even then, I sometimes find myself marking pages, underlining quotes, or making notes for future use. Here are five books that transformed how I think and lead in 2025. Five Books that Changed How I Think and Lead In 2025 #1 - Jobs by Walter Isaacson It's hard to summarize a person's life in one core idea, but if I had to, I'd say Jobs lived for innovation and focus. His ability to tune out the noise and stay laser-focused on the few products that would change everything was legendary. But that singular focus came at a brutal cost. Jobs could make people believe they could do the impossible—and they did. But relationships? Not his strength. Building an enduring company where people made great products was everything. "Everything else was secondary," including the people closest to him. This book gave me a vivid picture of how to stay relentlessly focused and how not to lead relationally. #2 - The Creative Act by Rick Rubin Rubin's big idea: creativity isn't a method you master—it's a way of being. Instead of giving you a step-by-step process, Rubin explores what creativity looks like through different people and forms. The book reads like a devotional, with short chapters you can absorb daily for inspiration. Each one offers a fresh perspective on creativity as something alive, ever-changing, and growing. The Creative Act helped solidify that creativity is a way of life, not just moments of inspiration. #3 - The Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen Nouwen spent seven months at a Trappist monastery, trying to escape the frenetic pace of academia and ministry. I read the book while at the same monastery, The Abbey of the Genesee in Western, NY. What stuck with me most was this line: "When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it, and want to get on to other things." That landed like a punch. Nouwen discovered that his need to achieve, to be recognized, to stay busy—all of it was disconnecting him from love itself. The Benedictine rhythm of prayer, work, and rest wasn't just a nice monastic practice. It was the antidote to a life lived detached from God and people. Nouwen wrestled with whether he could bring this slower way back into his "real life." The question haunted him: Can you live contemplatively in an active world? His honest answer: barely. But the trying matters. #4 - Three Mile an Hour God by Koyami Kosuki Koyama, a Japanese theologian, brings an Eastern perspective that shattered my Western theological assumptions. He weaves insights from Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism (without embracing universalism) to paint a fuller picture of God at work in the world. But the real gut punch? His unflinching examination of the injustices the Church has participated in—especially toward ethnic and religious minorities. What stuck with me: Koyama's penetrating questions left me wrestling with my own complicity. He doesn't offer easy answers or seven-step solutions. Instead, he forces you to sit with the discomfort and ask yourself: How am I participating in injustice? How do I bring God's justice into the world? Honestly? I'm still not sure. But the asking matters. #5 - Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers ​​Sivers' philosophy is simple: if it's not a "hell yeah," it's a no. The book is a collection of over 60 short chapters—life wisdom condensed into bite-sized pieces you can read daily. Wide-ranging and thought-provoking, Sivers challenges you to think more deeply about what you're doing, why you're doing it, and whether it's actually worth doing at all. What stuck with me: His relentless clarity about priorities. Most of us say yes to things that are merely "fine" or "good enough," filling our lives with mediocre commitments. Sivers strips away the noise and asks the hard question: Is this a hell yeah? If not, why are you doing it? It's a gold mine for anyone drowning in obligations they never really wanted in the first place. Your RHYTHMS Check This is about your Emotional and Mental rhythms and the practices that protect your mental clarity and creative capacity. If you don't become a reader, your brain will continue weakening. Your ideas will stay shallow. Your leadership will plateau. You'll keep grinding harder while thinking slower. But if you commit to becoming a reader... you'll strengthen neural pathways that make complex thinking easier. You'll gain years of compressed wisdom from leaders who've walked ahead of you. You'll process stress better, sleep more deeply, and lead with more creativity. Your reading habits determine whether you're building mental capacity or burning it down. This week's rhythm: Choose one book that you already have and read one page today, maybe before bed or with your morning coffee. Do this for seven days straight and notice what happens to your mental clarity. When was the last time you read something that actually changed how you think—not just informed you, but transformed you? Until next time, Kent PS - My new e-book, On Becoming a Reader: Unlocking the Power of Reading , shows you how to become a reader using simple, science-backed strategies that actually work. No guilt. No overwhelm. Just one page at a time, starting today. Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, Win the Morning, Win the Day! ​ ​ Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop ​ Sources “Most Americans Didn’t Read Many Books in 2025,” https://yougovamerica.substack.com/p/most-americans-didnt-read-many-books Dr. Thomas H. Agrait https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/negative-impact-decline-reading-society-perspective-dr-thomas-h--bdmre/ ​ “Is the Decline of Reading Making Politics Dumber?” https://www.economist.com/culture/2025/09/04/is-the-decline-of-reading-making-politics-dumber “Is the Decline of Reading Making Politics Dumber?” https://www.economist.com/culture/2025/09/04/is-the-decline-of-reading-making-politics-dumber “Benefits of Reading Books: How It Can Positively Affect Your Life,” https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-reading-books#takeaway ​ “What Did Francis Bacon Mean by Knowledge Is Power?” https://www.thecollector.com/francis-bacon-knowledge-is-power/

"I’ve never seen you this at peace before." My friend said this exactly 30 days before I ruptured my patella tendon and lost nearly every rhythm I'd built. What do you do when your rhythms get hijacked by life or someone else's agenda? When You’re Rhythms Fall Apart Some of you may be asking, Does the guy who talks about the “right rhythms” being the answer to burnout and overwhelm ever feel burned out himself? The simple answer is yes. The complex answer is, no matter how great your rhythms are, life still throws you curveballs that you can’t control, and you’re going to get weary sometimes. This usually happens right when you feel you are starting to hit a groove. That’s what happened to me back in May when I ruptured my patella tendon. It happened right on the heels of one of the best seasons of my life. Let me paint the picture for you: I was near my ideal weight, lifting three times a week, emotionally and mentally sharp, work was going better than ever, my relationships were solid, and I'd just returned from a ​transformative retreat​ where a friend commented, "I've never seen you that at peace before." A month later, on May 18, 2025, 9-12 months of my life were instantly decided for me by my injury. All of my physical rhythms instantly ceased. Many of my spiritual practices disappeared. Emotionally? Crushed. Devastated. Thankfully, I could still work since my job is virtual, but I was staring down a long road I didn't choose. The Thing That Held I'd like to tell you I bounced back quickly. I didn't. It took months just to feel some sense of normalcy again. Even now, some of the rhythms I cherish, like my daily walks to the park, are just returning albeit significantly different with no small amount of pain. Having the right rhythms is crucial, and they are going to help you immensely. But they also need to be flexible enough to move with life. When by no choice of your own, one or more go out the window, the others have to be strong enough to hold. Here's what I learned: Rhythms matter. They help immensely. But they're only as strong as the relationships holding them in place. When your systems fail—and they will—it's the people who love you who determine whether you recover or collapse. Thanks especially to my wife who put up with a lot of grumpiness and bore the weight of the family for 2-3 months as I began to recover. She drove me to every appointment, took off work, attended my needs, and was a taxi service for the kids. My friends came to visit me, some from an hour away. My kids pitched in however they could. Slowly but surely, after two surgeries and weekly PT, life returned to some sense of normalcy, and I am now halfway through the recovery process. How about you? Which of your rhythms are currently broken? And more importantly—who's holding you up while you rebuild? Your RHYTHMS Check Most people think the right rhythms will prevent burnout and protect them from life's chaos, but the truth is rhythms are only as strong as the relationships holding them in place—and when your systems fail, it's the people who love you who determine whether you recover or collapse. This is about your Relational rhythms —the people, connections, and support systems that hold you when your other rhythms fail. Most leaders focus obsessively on optimizing their personal systems (physical routines, productivity hacks, spiritual practices) while neglecting the relational foundation that determines whether those systems can be sustained long-term. If you don't intentionally strengthen your relational rhythms before a crisis hits... you'll face it alone, without the support network that makes recovery possible. You'll burn through willpower trying to maintain systems that were never designed to stand without relational support. But if you invest in your relational rhythms now... you create a foundation that holds when everything else collapses. You build a network of people who will carry you through seasons when you can't carry yourself. Your relational rhythm determines whether burnout becomes a spiral or a season you move through with support. This week's rhythm: Identify the three people who would show up if your life fell apart tomorrow. Then reach out to one of them—not to ask for anything, but to invest in that relationship while you still have capacity. Send a text. Schedule coffee. Make a phone call. The relationships that hold you through crisis are built in the ordinary moments before crisis hits. If your carefully constructed routines disappeared tomorrow, who would actually show up to help you rebuild—and have you invested in those relationships lately? Hit reply and tell me: Who is one person you're going to reach out to this week to strengthen your relational foundation? I read every response, and I'm genuinely curious who shows up for you. Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop