Are We Worshiping Millennials?

Kent Murawski

It seems like nearly every church leadership article over the past couple of years is about “Millennials” or those born after 1980. I wonder – are we verging on millennial worship?

Having been born in 1975, I’m on the tail end of Generation X (those born between 1960-1979), though I relate a bit more to Millennials than I do Boomers (1946 to early 1960). I’m no expert but I think I have some room to speak, especially since our church is primarily composed of Millennials (about 75%), and my city, Cambridge, MA, was recently deemed the best city in the United States for Millennials. [i] I love hanging out with Millennials and intentionally put them around me. I value their opinions and leadership. In fact, the the majority of the most influential team in our church (we call them the lead team) is made up of single Millennials! It’s very important to me that we are engaging them and reaching them. We didn’t necessarily plan it that way, we are simply reaching one of the largest demographics in our city. When I ask this question, are we worshiping Millennials, I’m not coming from a place of pessimism but rather a place of concern. Let me explain…

Back in time…

Early in the 21 st century, there seemed to be a church wide emphasis on reaching the next generation – at least in the circles where I was involved. It was imperative that older leaders were reaching and empowering the younger generation and entrusting them with leadership. In my fellowship of ministers, they were seeking to get more young people to become credentialed ministers and encouraging pastors to help bring them through the process and train them in their local churches. That challenge remains the same for every generation. The Church is always one are one generation away from extinction. As with anything, too much of a good thing can become unhealthy if we are not careful – turning from a healthy emphasis to an unhealthy obsession. I saw this in full swing, as there was a huge leadership transition from the older to the younger, sometimes at the expense of the young leaders. I watched some young people crash and burn because they were given responsibility they weren’t ready for with inadequate training and oversight.

Every generation is important

Right now, there are five generations alive on the earth. There are more generations alive together than at any other time in history. So I ask you, should we be focusing solely on Millennials? Anytime you put too much emphasis upon one generation, it has the potential to become idolatry. It’s not good for the people group being overly emphasized and it’s not good for the church. Things become all about them instead of all about God and His purpose. In God’s heart and purpose, there exists a place for that emphasis but it should never surpass the emphasis on Jesus Christ Himself or on all people. We should be living for the good of others, not just the good of Millennials. What does this communicate to people of other generations? That they are less important than the one generation we are trying to reach? The generation that is being emphasized begins to believe it is all about them. They are important yes, and we need to reach them, but so is every other generation. What about the X’ers who feel lost between Boomers and Millennials? What about Boomers who have tons of wisdom and resources to share to help the kingdom of God go to the next level? What about the Traditionalists (born before 1946) who have so much life experience and many of whom may feel lonely and forgotten?

Should Millennials be the “center?”

My fear is that the pendulum is beginning to swing too far. We need to engage, reach and empower millennials, but it’s not healthy to revolve everything around them. No generation can handle that type of attention without letting it go to their heads. If everything revolves around a specific group of people, it’s easy to think, “It’s all about us” instead of saying, “It’s all about Jes-us!”

It’s not about us, it’s about Jes-us
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  Are you alienating Millennials?

The opposite is also true. When the generations with the power and resources (X’ers and Boomers) attempt to hold on too long; when they don’t involve Millennials in the decision making process or give them actual authority to act; when they don’t put a high value on reaching them; Houston, we have a problem! This alienates Millennials, telling them they have no place in our churches, organizations or power structures and as a result they don’t feel it is worth their time.

Practical ways to reach and keep Millennials

How can we reach and keep Millennials? Here are seven simple things you can start implementing right away:

  1. Invest in Millennials. Unlike some previous generations, Millennials have a strong desire for mentors and relationships with older adults. If they don’t see an opportunity for this, they might not stick around. Whether formal or informal, take some time to invest in them. Enlist the X’ers, Boomers and Traditionalists in your church to do the same. What could be more fulfilling than taking your wisdom and experience and using it to help someone else go further than you?
  2. Help Millennials engage culture and bring change. Christianity is not a sub-culture, it’s a counter culture. Taking time to help Millennials see how they can engage the culture with their faith is ultra important to them. Many already view the church with skeptical eyes, so any effort you can put into reaching into the community in practical, helpful and loving ways will go a long way.
  3. Put Millennials in visible places. Don’t be afraid to put them up front or in visible places. Whether it’s announcements, preaching, worship or some other visible role, show them that they have a place in your organization. When other Millennials see this, they will know there is a place for them.
  4. Give Millennials a place at the table. Include Millennials in your decision making team or at least invite them in to hear their thoughts and opinions. If you do that, be sure to use some of their input (you probably need it anyway). In our young church, we have provisional elders, most of which are far away. So I have what I call a “Lead Team.” This is a team of people who help me process, think through and make decisions for the church. Three out of five people on that team are single Millennials and two are females.
  5. Give Millennials real authority . I’m not saying give it to them if they can’t handle it or just for sport. Mentor them, equip them and release them to use what you’ve taught them. If they have the goods, don’t hold them back just because they are young.
  6. Leaders, be authentic. I know that’s a buzz word nowadays that means a lot of different things, but it’s true. The worship or preaching style of your church isn’t as important as being authentic. Sure, work on your style, try to stay at least a little relevant, but most importantly just be authentic and real.
  7. Be available. They can get any preacher or any worship album right from their phone. There is always someone better than you. But they can’t get a personal touch or lock eyes with their phone. So be their pastor. Be their leader. Be their shepherd. Be their friend. Help them navigate this ever changing world with principles and words that are eternal and unchanging. They really need you.

A Word To Millennials…

It seems there is a lot of talk about what Millennials want in a church. While this isn’t bad, some of you are using it as a reason to turn away from the church instead of leveraging your influence to bring change to the church. Although there is the possibility that some churches are resistant to change, there are many that welcome your influence and want to change, they just don’t know how. So instead of bouncing around until you find the perfect church (which is impossible because none exist), how about bringing what you have to the table? Why not commit and put down roots? I know commitment can be a scary word for you, but it’s a good word. It’s what God did for you and it’s what He expects of you. You can’t change anything without commitment. So why not gain influence the good old-fashioned way – by committing and serving sacrificially?

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. (Psalm 37:4-5 NIV)

Commit your way to the Lord? No problem. Commit to the church? That’s a little harder for some of you. It may be hard, but it’s necessary. God has been using His Church (in many different forms) for two millennia and He’s not about to stop now. So, Millennials, I’m appealing to you. Rather than use your influence and disenchantment as a reason to leave the church, or to complain about the church, or to fuel discontentment in others, why not leverage your influence to help the church. Remember, in whatever state, Christ loves His bride, the Church, and wants what’s best for her. Ultimately, you are a part of the whole. You are one generation among many. Bring what you have to the table and use it for the betterment of the whole.

Discussion

What are your thoughts on Millennials and the church? What is your experience? I would love to hear from Millennials and leaders alike!

Other posts you might enjoy

Good articles on Millennials

 

[i] http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathryndill/2015/05/13/the-best-cities-for-millennials-right-now/

Photo credit, Anise Smith – Flickr

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3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out

By Kent Murawski • July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.

Why you're exhausted before fall even arrives...

By Kent Murawski • July 23, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.

Crisis Creates Clarity

By Kent Murawski • May 26, 2025
“Should I end this?” were the last words I said before collapsing to the ground in excruciating pain. The only thing I ended that day was my basketball career ⛹️! On Sunday, May 18, 2025, I ruptured my patella tendon playing basketball with my boys. We were playing a game of P.I.G., and it was […]

‘When You Hurry, You No Longer Care’: A Wake-Up Call from the Monastery

By Kent Murawski • May 16, 2025
“You’re not going to become a monk, are you?”  My wife asked me this after I excitedly returned from a week-long retreat to a Trappist monastery and my growing fascination with monastic rhythms.  The obvious answer is no, since I’m neither single nor celibate It began the previous week when my twelve-year-old son and I […]

The View from 50

By Kent Murawski • May 7, 2025
I always thought the big decisions were what shaped my life trajectory, but my 50th birthday celebration revealed something way more interesting—it’s actually the tiny, everyday choices that determine where you ultimately end up. It was the most meaningful birthday I’ve ever had.  Fair warning, this is a long one, but it will be worth […]

The Productive Power of Strategic Pauses

By Kent Murawski • March 19, 2025
Your capacity to recognize when to pause may be more valuable than knowing when to push. Lately, I haven’t had anything to write, which is a rare occurrence. Sure, I could try to pound something out or pull some unused content out of the archives (which I have tons of), but here’s what I’ve discovered: […]

How Are You? (The Success Predictor)

By Kent Murawski • March 6, 2025
How are you? Your answer to this question reveals more about your future success and well-being than any strategic plan. We often wear busyness as a badge of honor. Ask ten people how they are doing, and nine out of ten times the answer will be, “busy.” That’s not the way things ought to be. […]

The Hidden Cost of Being Too Hard On Yourself

By Kent Murawski • January 30, 2025
The weight of unrealistic self-expectations can feel crushing, especially at the start of a new year. January is not even over, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.  It’s often said that we can be our own worst bosses or that the most challenging person to lead is the person in the mirror.  What do you do […]

The Missed Opportunity in Failed Dreams

By Kent Murawski • January 16, 2025
Failed dreams can become your greatest victories. While dreams are essential for hope and growth, unfulfilled dreams can breed disillusionment. Yet what appears to be a “failed” dream often reveals itself as an opportunity. Barbara Corcoran, the renowned Shark Tank Investor, once said, “All my best successes came on the heels of failure.” This wisdom […]

Less Is More (Why Resolutions Don’t Work)

By Kent Murawski • January 4, 2025
Did you know that 92% of people give up on their goals by January 12th? Pretty shocking, right? I used to be part of that statistic. Every year, I’d write down my goals with excitement, only to find them collecting dust by February. It was frustrating and, honestly, a bit embarrassing. But then I discovered […]