7 Ways to Keep Your Sanity When Life Feels Out of Control

Kent Murawski

Does life feel out of control right now? Here’s what to do…

Over the last 3-4 weeks, I’ve onboarded two new leaders for executive coaching, submitted a formal proposal for an 8-week summer speaking gig at a premier camp for young people, and traveled to Florida and the Bahamas for my Mom’s 80th birthday celebration. This week my son “graduates” from fifth grade in a school he’s called home for six years, my daughter is graduating from high school, and we welcome three family members into our home to celebrate with us.

All great stuff but crazy!

On top of that, we thought we may have picked up bed bugs after finding some mysterious bites on my youngest son. Thankfully, after hiring someone to inspect the house, it turned out not to be the case.

Sometimes life gets insane when family, personal, unexpected circumstances, and work collide. What to do?

7 Ways to Take Back Control When Life Feels Insane…

#1 – Look for the light.

If you are in a “busy season” as many say, there should be a light at the end of the tunnel. This allows you to endure the season knowing there is an end in sight.

If there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it’s not a season, it’s a lifestyle.

Seasons have a defined beginning and end. Lifestyles don’t.

If you’ve been saying you’re in a “busy season” but there is no end in sight, you don’t need to read any further.

You need a change.

It’s better to call it what it is and roll out of your rut. 

#2 – Don’t tune out

When life gets intense, it’s easy to disengage and resort to numbing behaviors. They are different for all of us, but you know your defaults. Mine are Netflix and going into my cave by avoiding people and situations in my home.

Tuning out is the last thing you want to do when life feels intense. It doesn’t solve any problems and usually has the opposite effect of exacerbating them. What does solve problems is facing them head-on. It’s harder to do but problems get solved more quickly when you stay engaged.

#3 – Stay in the moment

Being present is hard. Our minds tend to focus on future scenarios, what-ifs, and outcomes.

But life is much more enjoyable when you practice being present.

It’s easier to find the good things and see little rays of light when you don’t stay present in the current moment.

#4 – Plan but don’t over-plan

A bit of planning minimizes confusion and chaos and creates much-needed order, but overplanning can strangle the life out of everything.

Planning is my default, but over the years, I’ve learned to embrace spontaneity as well—primarily through the help of my wife.

The sweet spot is somewhere between planning and spontaneity. I call it planned spontaneity.

It goes something like this. Develop a plan but stay flexible and leave open space, especially when life feels intense.

This week, I failed to plan well. To be fair, there were some unforeseen circumstances, but it was apparent. I was thirty minutes late for two coaching appointments (which rarely happens) and felt discombobulated all week.

Though I completed my usual weekly plan, I failed in my daily planning. Had I done that, I would have written my schedule in my planner and not been thirty minutes late for those two appointments.

A good plan gives direction and creates accountability, but also allows breathing room to accommodate life. You’ll still get from A to B, it just won’t be in a straight line.

#5 – Stick to your routine but…

When life feels crazy, it’s imperative to have some stable rhythms.

No matter where or what season I’m in, I try to keep my morning routine and continue exercising. This gives me a sense of stability and centeredness.

But don’t forget to be kind to yourself, too. Things happen and sometimes it’s impossible to keep your routine. Stay flexible and don’t get discouraged about a day or even a few days when your routine is disrupted. Just get back on the horse and keep riding. As an old friend used to tell me, “Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken.”

That being said, an easy, repeatable, life-giving morning routine anchors you when life feels chaotic and out of control.

#6 – Zero expectations

Expectations are a tricky thing. As Seth Godin wrote,

“Low expectations can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. High expectations, on the other hand, will inevitably lead to disappointment. Perhaps it’s worth considering no expectations. Intense effort followed by an acceptance of what you get in return. ” (italics mine)

That principle has saved me more than once.

#7 – Surrender to the process

Surrender can be extremely difficult because it implies giving up control. Of course that assumes we had control in the first place.

I believe self-control is the only real control we possess (and let’s be honest, sometimes that seems outside of our grasp). Anything outside of that is a pipe dream.

If you get sucked out to sea by a strong rip current, surrender is the only way to survive. If you try to fight it you drown. Providing you are a good swimmer, if you let it take you out to sea and then swim parallel to the shore before trying to swim back in, you will most likely survive.

When the rip currents of life suck you out to sea, sometimes the only way to survive is to surrender to the current.

Engage

Which of the 4 ways resonates with you the most in this season? Choose one to focus on and set aside a 30-minute block to think about how to practice it this week.

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By Kent Murawski July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. 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They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
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For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
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