Purpose Quest 8: You Are One-of-a-Kind. Don’t Waste It!

Kent Murawski

Carved into stone at Apollo’s temple at Delphi in Greece were the words, know thyself. Since the beginning of humankind, there has been a hunger for deeper self-knowledge, but it can also be a paradox.

Navel-gazing is defined as “self-indulgent or excessive contemplation of oneself or a single issue, at the expense of a wider view” (Oxford Dictionary). Without the insight of the Creator, self-knowledge can be limiting and frustrating. In the words of the 16th-century reformer John Calvin,

“There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self, and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God.” (John Calvin)

There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self, and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God. (John Calvin)
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We’ve been exploring your unique design made up of your spiritual gifts, heart/passions, abilities/strengths, personality, and experiences. Author Rick Warren calls this your S.H.A.P.E. but I’ve added one category to the end making it S.H.A.P.E.S.

S – Spiritual Gifts

H – Heart/ Passion

A – Abilities/Natural Strengths

P – Personality

E – Experiences

S – Spheres of Influence (added by me)

Today, we are going to focus on the “P” or your personality. 

Seek to Understand More Than to Be Understood

There is no lack of personality tests in the never-ending quest for self-knowledge. Meyers Briggs, the Enneagram, the DISC profile, and Hogan Personality Inventory are just a few, not to mention the dozens of “which movie character are you” personality profiles. Though incomplete on their own, these tools can help you identify your personality and teach you how to relate to different people according to their personality.

Let me give you an example from my own life. I am an “8” on the Enneagram, a “D” on the DISC Test, and an “ENTJ” on the Meyers Briggs. They all confirm that I am a “direct” and “take charge” type of person. Confrontation is a form of intimacy for me. My wife is the exact opposite. She hates confrontation and actively tries to avoid it. Not that we are pros, but over the years, we’ve had to study the other person’s personality in order to know how to best communicate with each other. Sometimes she knows I need to hear something succinct and direct. “Just give it to me straight,” I might say. Even though it’s not her style, she does it because she knows it helps me to understand it better. With her, I’m still learning that I don’t always have to be so direct but more gentle. Practicing active listening has really helped me – not only with her but with communication in general!

We still need room to be ourselves, but accommodating someone else’s personality doesn’t diminish who we are; it demonstrates maturity. In the end, the goal is not to be heard but to understand. When someone feels understood they are much more likely to listen. I’ve always loved the Prayer of St. Francis:

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

It may seem like a paradox, but the more you seek to understand others, the more you will be understood.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best, and unfortunately, many people feel this way,

“It is a luxury to be understood.”

The Hard Work of Discovery

Discovering your own personality and taking the time to learn how to relate to others is hard work. Like anything worthwhile, it takes time and effort.

3 Tips to “Know Thyself”

If you are not sure where to start, here are a few tips:

First, talk to the designer. If you want to know how something works, ask the designer. If God designed and created you then he can certainly help you know and understand your personality. You are one-of-a-kind. You are the only one who has ever lived with your fingerprint! Though the Bible doesn’t say a lot about your specific personality types, it tracks countless stories of self-discovery as it relates to a person’s relationship with God. Knowing your motivational gifts also becomes important in this scenario as they are a part of your core make-up.

Self-awareness is important but apart from God, it is incomplete.

Self-awareness is important but apart from God, it is incomplete.
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This has been shared already, but take the time to read it again…slowly:

“There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self, and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God.” (John Calvin)

Second, take a personality test. Although there are many, here are the ones I like best with a short description:

The Big 5 Model of Personality is one of the most widely accepted personality theories in the scientific community. I recommend you take this one first and let any others you take be in addition to this one.

The DISC Profile – It’s fairly easy to understand and I find it to be quite accurate. It stands for “Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. When you take the test, you will have both a dominant and secondary personality type. There are also free DISC tests.

The Enneagram – I like the Enneagram, but it can be quite complicated. Dating back to the early Desert Fathers and the Christian monastic movement of the 3rd century, the Enneagram is deeply rooted in Christian spirituality and thinking. The earliest name associated with the Enneagram is a man named Evagrius from the 4th century. He is thought to have come up with eight corresponding virtues and vices he used to think through spiritual formation and relationship with God. They are still a part of the Enneagram today.

The goal of the Enneagram is to get in touch with both the personal and the spiritual and how they interact with who you are and who you are not. In doing so, you would have the self-knowledge to become who you are supposed to be. 1

One of the things that set the Enneagram apart is the recognition of the vices. We all know we have them, and the Enneagram takes them seriously going deep into our inner motivations, what drives us, and which sins we most easily succumb to.

You can take a free Enneagram test at yourenneagramcoach.com , and Ian Morgan Cron wrote a good book on the Enneagram called The Road Back to You . I highly recommend it if you want to take a deeper dive into all things Enneagram.

Meyers Briggs – This assessment was the brainchild of Isabel Myers and her mother, Katharine Cook Briggs. Their aim was growth through “understanding and appreciation of individual differences in healthy personalities and to enhance harmony and productivity in diverse groups.” 2   Meyers Briggs helps to identify and give robust descriptions of 16 different personality types.

Third, get a 360-degree view. Too much emphasis on your own personality can become myopic or nearsighted. It’s easy to overthink it, and it can sometimes leave you feeling confused and frustrated. May I suggest asking those who are close to you and those who see you in your everyday “natural habitat” (home, work, and close friends) some questions about your personality? Guides such as spiritual directors, coaches , and counselors can be of help as well.

If you get stuck on a question while doing a personality test, either choose an answer from your gut or ask for help. Go over the results of your personality test with a few other people. If they know you well enough and are willing, you can even ask them to take the test on your behalf to see how it turns out! Some of the tests have that built-in.

The point is; you need the perspective of other people if you are going to really understand yourself. We weren’t meant to do life in a bubble; we were created for community, and it is not good for man to be alone. 3

You can’t discover your personality in a bubble. It is not good for man to be alone.
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(micro) Purpose Question #8 – P ersonality

What is my personality? (read Ephesians 2:10, Genesis 2:18, Proverbs 18:1, and take one or more of the personality tests recommended above)

Now write it in a concise statement and add it to questions 1-7. 

What are some of your favorite personality tests? Feel free to leave a comment!

Missed One?

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Endnotes

3 Genesis 2:18

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3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out

By Kent Murawski • July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.

Why you're exhausted before fall even arrives...

By Kent Murawski • July 23, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.

Crisis Creates Clarity

By Kent Murawski • May 26, 2025
“Should I end this?” were the last words I said before collapsing to the ground in excruciating pain. The only thing I ended that day was my basketball career ⛹️! On Sunday, May 18, 2025, I ruptured my patella tendon playing basketball with my boys. We were playing a game of P.I.G., and it was […]

‘When You Hurry, You No Longer Care’: A Wake-Up Call from the Monastery

By Kent Murawski • May 16, 2025
“You’re not going to become a monk, are you?”  My wife asked me this after I excitedly returned from a week-long retreat to a Trappist monastery and my growing fascination with monastic rhythms.  The obvious answer is no, since I’m neither single nor celibate It began the previous week when my twelve-year-old son and I […]

The View from 50

By Kent Murawski • May 7, 2025
I always thought the big decisions were what shaped my life trajectory, but my 50th birthday celebration revealed something way more interesting—it’s actually the tiny, everyday choices that determine where you ultimately end up. It was the most meaningful birthday I’ve ever had.  Fair warning, this is a long one, but it will be worth […]

The Productive Power of Strategic Pauses

By Kent Murawski • March 19, 2025
Your capacity to recognize when to pause may be more valuable than knowing when to push. Lately, I haven’t had anything to write, which is a rare occurrence. Sure, I could try to pound something out or pull some unused content out of the archives (which I have tons of), but here’s what I’ve discovered: […]

How Are You? (The Success Predictor)

By Kent Murawski • March 6, 2025
How are you? Your answer to this question reveals more about your future success and well-being than any strategic plan. We often wear busyness as a badge of honor. Ask ten people how they are doing, and nine out of ten times the answer will be, “busy.” That’s not the way things ought to be. […]

The Hidden Cost of Being Too Hard On Yourself

By Kent Murawski • January 30, 2025
The weight of unrealistic self-expectations can feel crushing, especially at the start of a new year. January is not even over, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.  It’s often said that we can be our own worst bosses or that the most challenging person to lead is the person in the mirror.  What do you do […]

The Missed Opportunity in Failed Dreams

By Kent Murawski • January 16, 2025
Failed dreams can become your greatest victories. While dreams are essential for hope and growth, unfulfilled dreams can breed disillusionment. Yet what appears to be a “failed” dream often reveals itself as an opportunity. Barbara Corcoran, the renowned Shark Tank Investor, once said, “All my best successes came on the heels of failure.” This wisdom […]

Less Is More (Why Resolutions Don’t Work)

By Kent Murawski • January 4, 2025
Did you know that 92% of people give up on their goals by January 12th? Pretty shocking, right? I used to be part of that statistic. Every year, I’d write down my goals with excitement, only to find them collecting dust by February. It was frustrating and, honestly, a bit embarrassing. But then I discovered […]