Rhythms of Life 2: To the Beat of a Different Drum

Kent Murawski

Monks changed my life.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to convince you to be a monk, nor am I interested in being one either. But there is something about their way of life that is worth taking a deeper look at. 

Though this post can stand alone, it is also part of a series I’ve been writing called Rhythms of Life. Here are the previous posts:

To the Beat of a Different Drum

If you’re interested in moving in the same direction as everyone else you should stop reading now, but if you want to march to the beat of a different drum, then read on. This way of living goes against the grain. 

There is a way of living that came from early monasticism. It’s referred to as a “Rule of Life.” One of the most well-known rules was developed by a guy named Benedict around A.D. 540. 

Don’t let the word “Rule” trip you up. The intended outcome of a rule of life is joy. It’s the pathway to an abundant life. It’s not referring to a set of laws, but rather “guidelines that support or enable us to do things we want and need to do.” It comes from a Latin word that means “a straight piece of wood” like a trellis. In a vineyard, a trellis is a structure that holds up a vine so it can thrive. Without the trellis, the vine falls to the ground and can’t bear fruit. 

Like a garden untended, a life without rhythm and intentional cultivation creeps toward chaos and confusion. 

Stephen Macchia, author of Crafting a Rule of Life said, 

A rule of life allows us to clarify our deepest values, our most important relationships, our most authentic hopes and dreams, our most meaningful work, our highest priorities. It allows us to live with intention and purpose in the present moment.¹

Like a garden untended, a life without rhythm and intentional cultivation creeps toward chaos and confusion. 

Because many people don’t like the word “rule” (and because I just like this word better), I choose to call it a Rhythm of Life rather than a rule of life. The word rhythm reminds me of the natural world and the cadence by which it operates: 

Waves ebb and flow.

Seasons come and go in rhythm.

Crops are planted and harvested with the seasons.

Birds migrate from one place to another and back again with reliability.

The sun rises and sets in a predictable and rhythmic manner.

Finding the right rhythms for your life requires thoughtfulness and intentionality. In the words of Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Successful People), “we achieve inner peace when our schedule is aligned with our values.”²

The R.E.S.T. Framework

In my previous post, I introduced you to the framework I use to form my Rhythm of Life. I call it the R.E.S.T. Framework, and it is made up of four core rhythms. 

  1. R – We are RELATIONAL beings
  2. E – We are EMOTIONAL beings
  3. S – We are SPIRITUAL beings
  4. T – We are TANGIBLE or physical beings

Each of these four rhythms has three practices or actions that lead us toward a state of wholeness. There are twelve practices in all. My theory? 

True success and real fulfillment come through wholeness, not achievement. 

What do I mean by wholeness? Wholeness is about integration. It’s about thriving in ALL of life, not just ONE part. And it happens when we learn to integrate the most important parts of our lives into a cohesive and working whole. 

The Heart of the Matter

We all know a healthy heart is a key to longevity. In a healthy heart, all four chambers work together. The heart receives oxygen-poor blood through the right side and pumps it to your lungs to be oxygenated. It then receives oxygen-rich blood via the left side and in turn, pumps it to your whole body through blood vessels. 

These four core rhythms work in a similar way. Each of them must work in sync for our lives to be whole and complete. 

Let’s Do This…Together!

In the coming posts, I would like to test this theory with you – that success and fulfillment come through wholeness, not achievement. We will do this by going through each of the four rhythms and forming your own Rhythm of Life. 

Many of these things are backed by proof and research, but the way I’m putting it together is somewhat new. 

That’s why I’m asking for your feedback.

We will start with the first one in the framework: relationships. 

As you work through this framework, will you do me the honor of leaving your comments, thoughts, and pushbacks? I would love to hear your stories of success and failure along the way!

I can’t wait to go on this journey with you.

Endnotes

¹  Macchia, Stephen, Crafting a Rule of Life, 14

²  Comer, John Mark, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, quoting Covey, 94

* Photo by Nathaniel Tetteh on Unsplash

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By Kent Murawski July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
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For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
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